Striking system on the forum

[Lena]

Hi guys,

I asked Mary about the striking system vs warning system as its currently is on the forum.
As I was wondering about what Eloisa said about Pierre's 2 amber strike proposition. (By the way they are up on the forum now.)

Here is briefly what Mary said that is starting to make sense to me:

People should always be given a warning with stating what the issue is and given an opportunity to rectify their issue.

If they chose to not deal with their issue the same one as they were warned about and have been given an opportunity to rectify it, they need a ban.

Love is either there or it's not.

If a user was given a warning on one issue and then a warning on another issue than it is a different warning and should not result in the ban.

At the moment we have a feedback system via a standard post reply, a warning system which triggers a message for user when they log (which is great I think), an amber strike system, a red strike muting system and a red strike ban system.

Mary was sharing that it feels like there are shades of unloving behaviour represented in this system. God doesn't work like that with us.

I thought we may need to feel about this more and see if there are any emotional reasons we have inside of us that say that this is a good system to go by.

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It's probably not good to read the next bit, if you want to feel your own thoughts and feelings about it first, as I may confuse you with what I share about my feelings.


I have reflected a little about my stuff.

It is about a fear of getting things wrong for me. So I use this warning and striking etc to accumulate enough reasons to make a decision that a person needs a ban.

I also see that this gradient system is how I am with my own progression. How I want God to be with me. Giving me more chances and more lessons in love. Tolerating my behaviour because I have paid a little bit of my attention to it so I deserve a little credit.

I also see how this system allows me to postpone my own progression. So if there was as per Mary's suggestion a warning system and a ban. I know I would feel like a hypocrite if I was as black and white to people about Love, but I wasn't the same with myself yet.

God is like this with us - its either love or its not.
So there is a big dilemma about how I see myself and how I see others and how much of tolerance of a bad behaviour I have with both.


love,
Lena

[Mary]

Hi guys,

Just wanted to add that I mentioned these things in passing to Lena.

I haven't properly felt through them all and as I said to her, I'm still not certain within myself about what is the best way to proceed but I do see an issue with the idea of 'shades of unlovingness' that seems inherent in the strike system. It also feels that sometimes a facade can be fostered in people who don't deal with the underlying cause of their unloving behaviour when the strike system is in place.

As I said, I have just had feelings about this come up so don't take my word as 'gospel' and proceed without exploring this for yourselves first. I am happy to give further input when I have more clarity but at the moment I have a lot going on.

Love
Mary

[Nicky]

Hello guys

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about the strike system. I have given myself a good few weeks to explore this further and I do believe it feels most loving to first issue a warning to somebody when they engage in a particular addiction Following that, if there is no change and they engage in the same addiction/injury again, a mute is appropriate.

With God it is black and white (love or not love) and no greyness in between as I have begun to start realising lately (yes I have heard it but not actually acknowledged/felt it properly). This way there is a clear response from us as admins and if we are accurate with identifying the issues, it seems closer to how God & God's Laws attempt to educate us whilst also avoiding the facade issues that do seem inherent in the current system.

I have thought about the strike system and it seems that the 3 amber strike thing should be scrapped. I have been thinking that what may be best is to basically issue people with either:

1 Amber Strike: - 2 senarios

Scenario 1 - not as severe

- They have initially been issued with a warning about that particular issue due to previously being made aware of the issue via a standard feedback post from an admin (addiction/facade, demand, expectation, not taking personal responsibility for an issue)
- They ignore the feedback/warning and engage it again later on OR respond to it in facade/resistance/denial = amber strike to be issued

Scenario 2 - more severe

- constitutes more serious unloving behaviour (condescension, arrogance, wanting to manipulate others, gain power over others - basically the same behaviours that are already defined as red strike issues in the terms of use)
- A warning is straight up issued to that person informing them of the issue rather than a simple feedback post and then a warning.
- If it occurs again or they don't acknowledge it, amber strike

An amber strike in this new system is basically a straight mute.

If somebody engages in a different addiction to the one that they have been made aware of previously, a second warning to be given on that separate issue. Basically, if the person repeatedly engages in ONE OF THE SAME addictions that they have been already made aware of, a warning/amber strike to be issued.


1 Red Strike:

- when a person joins the forum anonymously and refuses/ignores an admin's comment in how they can rectify the issue
- a straight up attack on somebody (nature, personality, physical appearance, character etc)

No warnings issued, but a direct red strike and ban from the forum.

I would love to hear your guys thoughts/feelings on the above and if you feel a few things should be tweaked/amended before I go ahead and make the changes (as the terms of use definitely need to change from what they currently are and have been!)

I think this is also great because it will confront us as well when we are enforcing these new terms on the forum - I think it will make us more willing to deal with our own issues in the same manner and not being a hypocrite which I have definitely been guilty of in the past (smile).

Thanks a lot

Love
Nicky

[Nicky]

Hey guys

So myself and Perry had a really great chat with Jesus & Mary and one of big talking points was the current forum terms of use/strike system and basically there have been a few outcomes:

1) The strike system should stay as is for the time being (until we are fully emotionally sensitive of people's intentions) as up to now, it has provided a fairly decent means of helping to maintain the condition of love on the forum bearing in mind our own current injuries and how they affect our ability to act in a manner harmonious with love in certain situations.

2) We decided that it would be awesome to experiment by not providing an explanation when a strike is issued - simply just create a thread in the strike section to inform people that a certain individual has received whatever strike for breaching the terms of use (not even stating what section they have breached). No explanation should be provided unless that person themselves demonstrates some sincerity via private email or forum private message if they ask why they received that particular strike.

God does this with us, acts quietly and doesn't provide us with answers unless we first use our own will and sincerity to ask him WHY something occurred. When we do this, God rapidly shows us. Again, God only shows us if we are being sincere with our asking - a lot of people are time wasters and want to take up the time of the people offering the gifts to them. This will rapidly show us who the sincere people on the forum are.

Also, this is really great as it would release so much pressure and time constraints on all of us so that when we are on the forum, the majority of our time is not spent worrying about how we should deal with unloving behaviour (and wanting to create a detailed strike thread). We can use our time to express/share ourselves and our experiences in other parts of the forum that others will find more inspiring then it currently is. Also, I reckon this would go a big way to releasing the dread of probably how we all feel about the forum at the moment (with not wanting to go on due to worrying about how we should deal with unloving behaviour). The dread/drain feeling in itself shows us that we have been missing something quite big up to this point.

This would also challenge the vast majority of people's expectations that they receive feedback for when they become unloving - many people do not see feedback as a gift, but something that is expected. By us simply acting and then waiting on a person's desire to know why they were striked, it encourages their own will in taking personal responsibility for their own soul condition. Even if somebody does ask us, it doesn't mean we automatically have to provide them with an explanation as again, this is a gift on our part (based on how sincere we feel that particular person is in wanting to know what the issues were). That person breached the terms of use that they agreed to adhere to upon registration so it is their issue to determine for themselves where they transgressed, not ours.

So yeah, that was the main outcomes from the chat with Jesus & Mary and I can already feel how much better this new approach to striking would be on the forum going forwards. Now it is just a case of following through with actions to conduct the experiment!

Jesus & Mary said that they will mention the above to you guys in person when they next see you as to be more clear, but also we agreed it would be best if I shared the above in the meantime to give you a heads up on the situation and a general idea of the nature of this new approach.

Thanks guys
Really looking forward to seeing how this goes!

Nicky

***EDIT 18/03/2016

Hey guys, just wrote up a thread in the public area of the forum outlining the above outcomes of the chat with Jesus. Link below:

viewtopic.php?f=36&t=952

[Eloisa]

Thanks for sharing Nicky.

This is great.

I have been feeling little passion to engage on the forum and interestingly enough since being back from the Assistance Group have spent a lot less time 'checking in'. Which is good as I was being really addictive with it, partially due to not avoiding my relationship so willfully. There are other issues I have discovered and am finding within myself too.

I feel the new terms are good as Jesus said to free our time up and also to have the opportunity to share ourselves more. This was ending up not happening before for me.

I look forward to the new way!

Thanks for sharing the feedback Nicky and thanks Jesus and MM!!

Love to you all,

Eloisa

[Lena]

Hi guys,

Nicky this sounds awesome.

really excited about having more free time to share.

I confess that the dread was real for me and definitely giving feedback to people came with a lot of discomfort for me, to a point of not feeling right at all.
I don't know yet clearly which laws (the list of them) of love I was breaking, I need to continue feeling about this, but as you say Nicky, there is something obviously big that I have missed in my approach.
Recalling back, when ever I have engaged in giving the feedback felt painfully uncomfortable, pretty much most of the time, the pain (which never lessened) was perhaps an indication for me that I was not seeing the truth and continued to take action not in love. I can see that my personal fears of being attacked as well as personal investments in being liked and approved of, are still unfelt and so I have not been able to feel anything beyond that.

When I read your post Nicky about the feedback from Jesus and Mary, it felt to me as if they were a lot more positive about what we have been up to here than I have been myself. Which is also interesting how I perceive my own mistakes. I get heavy on myself and so I make it extra hard to feel anything under the heavy blanket I create.

Looking at the point you raise in your public post (the one you have linked) of not seeing the feedback or my time as a gift to others has been a blind spot for me, I again realise that I do not see my time as a gift to anyone or of any value to anyone. I can sense that giving so much of my time to write up the lengthy feedbacks without anyone asking for it or expressing their desire for it would create pain in myself.
And if I look back at the feedbacks that we have issued over the time, there are only a small percentage of people who have responded with self reflection and gratitude, while the rest were resistive, attacking and angry about hearing any truth. I imagine now how much time we all spent on all of the resistive people and start to see how God would want me to learn to value my time but also to value the free will of another and let them be as they wish.

I can see how taking actions out of the present injury was creating more intense grief and pain, maybe the laws work like that so I can notice it and develop a desire to resolve it.

I am very happy about the proposed solution and very willing to try it.

thanks for sharing,
Lena