Hello from Norway

[Kirsten]

Hello everybody,

My name is Kirsten and I live in Oslo, Norway. I have been listening to the Divine Truth for 6 months now and was captured immediately! I am 58 years of age and was brought up in a Christian Lutheran family. My particular challenge has been to discover and acknowledge the lack of love in my childhood. No drama, no spanking, yelling or abuse. Everything was normal. My parents had a happy marriage, all went well for me in school, I had good friends and our holidays were spent at our cottage in the mountains. Occasionnally we went abroad. Jesus has said that the facade is particularily strong in Western countries and I do agree! I feel there is a heavy facade both in my family and at a national level. My mother – I understood much later after years of therapy due to my physical health – had a lot of supressed fear. She was very domineering and controlling and always busy, having her own career in addition to looking after the family (which was the mother`s responsability in those days).

I realize now how much I lacked warmth, emotional support and real truthfulness. Myself and my siblings were brought up to be sensible, mental and polite with no contact with our deeper emotions and needs. I became very analytic, believing I was emotionally very open.

My health problems started around 15 years ago. It eventually led me to stop working. I searched for alternative medical solutions and being attracted to holistic medicine and self development, the step to New Age stuff just felt natural. All along I have felt that my soul was trying to communicate to me that my health problems originated at the soul level with my fears (and yes – I always loved the word `soul` and the connotations to eternity and God). So Divine Truth was a revelation. The idea of reincarnation and past lives was easy to let go of when I heard the logical explanation of Jesus! I have actually not been provoked by anything he or Mary preaches. I feel their message came at exactly the right time in my life.

So now I cry almost every day (which I hardly did before). I have been married and have had relationships, but have lived alone for years and have no children. Injuries that I understand intellectually are too much self reliance and a lack of connection to the world around me. Isolating myself is certainly feeding an addiction, but it seems to me (cannot be sure of that!) that I also need to be alone to start changing from the inside. My former social behavior and activities do not feel right anymore (but they also trigger fear, I see that).

I was brought up to deny the hollowness underneath all the correct words and actions. So whether people are sincere or in addiction, truthful or false can be difficult for me to discern. Hopefully I will learn more about that! Already I have been through a learning process reading posts and feedback on the forum. Thank you for this opportunity!

Best regards from Kirsten

[Nicky]

Hi Kirsten

Welcome to the forum - good to see you managed to get it all working and have been able to successfully register.

Something that I'd like to share with regards to what you wrote here below:

So now I cry almost every day (which I hardly did before).

This can obviously be great if you are feeling through true/real emotions. However, something to be careful of is crying out of addiction/facade or to better say it, crying the EFFECTS of an emotion rather than their true causes. I have done this myself on a few occasions and I quickly realised that I was not feeling better about things within myself and also seeing that my Law of Attraction had not changed for the "better" therefore realising that no real progress had been made.

It could be a really beneficial exercise to maybe look at investigating more on this by reflecting, praying, journalling, observing your attractions (if your life starts to rapidly change for the better) etc in order to help you discern when you are grieving true emotions (soul improvement) and when you are just grieving the effects (no improvement).

Cheers
Nicky

[Kirsten]

Thank you for your reply, Nicky!

Yes, I do see that it is important to connect to the causal emotions and not merely to the effects. Now I try to be curious about what emotions come up without too much mental control. I am not crying about events but generally about my childhood, not being loved and unworthy and also about the lack of love from myself towards my siblings and stepson. Jesus talks about what happens when God`s love meets the errors of the soul. The contrast creates grief. I wonder if that is what is happening to me. But I have been desensitized for so long and I have always felt alone in the Universe (no experience with the spiritual world) so I am not sure of this. I cannot feel any of God`s love, but I feel more emotional truths (God`s truth?)

It seems my body reacts positively to me feeling my emotions. There are no big changes, but slow, gradual steps. My nervous system gets calmer and there is less pain. I feel more robust and the pain when I receive massage on the «grief points» on my chest is greatly reduced.

The Law of Attraction is difficult for me to observe in my own life. I was both fascinated and sceptical when I first met the idea in the eighties and later on. I condemned what I thought was American materialism and shallowness in regard to this. I felt something was missing without knowing what. But then I heard Jesus`talks and I suddenly saw the greatness of this law! I think I effectively have stopped this feedback system from working due to my fears. Hopefully I will be able to look more into this and develop my sensitivity to what`s going on.

Cheers,
Kirsten

[Nicky]

Hi Kirsten

Almost everyone will find it extremely difficult/impossible to get into causal emotion without first feeling through and releasing the layers of facade and addiction that cover the hurt emotions.

It can become easy to kid ourselves that we are feeling causal emotions by attempting to skip over the facade/addiction layers, and when we share with others that we have been crying about things, it is a sign that we are almost certainly in addiction and are not actually feeling causal emotions but emotions of self deception. I have added a link to this DT video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi4PfyR ... 8375DCDF23

You say:

I am not crying about events but generally about my childhood, not being loved and unworthy

Causal emotions are specific as are our fears. If we are grieving emotions of worthlessness and not being loved in general (as you have mentioned you have been doing), we can be basically guessing or creating false emotions that are not actually in harmony with Truth because doing this is more preferable to us as we get to avoid the real hurt emotions OR if we do genuinely have injuries of a lack of self worth/feeling unloved in our soul from our childhood, but are not specific as to where they came from (e.g. Mum, Dad etc) and are generally crying about these feelings, again nothing will change. God's Love will not and cannot flow into our soul in either of these states as we are not in a harmony with the Truth of the situation in terms of where the actual cause came from.

I'd suggest that one of the above scenarios is occurring with you currently. The above talk is awesome and will definitely help you gain a better intellectual understanding of this area and then explore it further if you desired to do so.

Also, all the discussions about deconstructing the facade & challenging addictions (2014 assistance groups) are really awesome and stuff that I have gone back to a number of times to help with my own soul work, so this may help you too.

Thanks
Nicky

[Kirsten]

I have been thinking about what you said, Nicky and have had different reactions along the way. The grief I have felt about my childhood comes from the lack of love from my mother and the barrage of anger behind her facade of achievements and efficiency. Lately I have also started to feel some anger and grief towards my father who I realise now was very weak and let her negative emotions dominate the family.

I have just started to watch the new videos from the AG and get the impression that Jesus speaks from even a higher awareness and clarity than before (if that is possible!) He states our unwillingness to see how our parents treated us and how we let those negative qualities apply to God instead. I agree with you that I have not released any causal emotions yet, that there are layers of addictions that I have to work through to get deeper into what is really painful. My body mirrors fear/terror that made me ill in the first place and I have not released what is at the bottom of this.

But I do feel a willingness to see how my parents were and have received help to reflect on this for many years now. So hopefully this also helps me in my relationship with God. When I started to listen to Jesus I started to connect to feelings and it has created a relief for body and soul even though I have not released the causal emotions. So much so that I now move from where I have been living for more than twenty years. In the very same period my mother has moved to a nursing home with dementia and we have to clear all her stuff. There is some important change in my life – more energy and action, less stagnation.

So I feel the picture is very mixed. There is a lot to learn about my self deceptions and addictions, to understand God`s laws and experiment with them in my own life. I have listened to Jesus for 7 months and it is a short time. But I am grateful for the process so far.

Regards,
Kirsten

[Nicky]

Hi Kirsten

I am issuing you with a warning for your latest post. You are quite resistive to and in disagreement with (without stating so, thus posting in facade) the information I have already shared with you concerning the grief that you feel you have been processing through about your mother.

You have rage towards your mother that you are denying/unwilling to feel. You will need to begin there before realising what the hurt emotions are underneath.

Thanks
Nicky