Hello!

[StellaLebret]

Very enjoyable read .Thank you.

[rizasukman]

Thank you for this. This is beautiful.

The part where you talk about feeling angry at God is really helpful. I feel i'm at this stage where I'm actually angry at God and feeling really betrayed and hurt but I won't dare to be angry at God. There's probably just too much grief beneath it, which is also creating an additional unwillingness to feel, since i'm a male and probably have some judgment about crying.

The love that a child dares to give to a parent is so vulnerable and precious that when it's betrayed it is so painful to bring back. When an abuse or violation occurs, the child's world gets turned upside down and there's serious harm, hurt, confusion, heart-break. Then we project that onto God, i guess. I just didn't know, hadn't connected with the feeling, that I have been projecting all of that mistrust and hatred onto God as well.

[rizasukman]

Can you tell me what those books were? especially the books that told you to begin feeling all the emotions that you've been avoiding.

[Courtney]

Hey Riza, they were books by an author named Geneen Roth and based on eating disorders and food addiction. They're awesome particularly if you have those issues, but Jesus and Mary's info on allowing emotions is leagues ahead.

[rizasukman]

Yeah, curious. I've struggled with food addiction and mildly swing back and forth between losing weight and gaining weight, depending on the circumstance/country i'm in.