Hello from Thalia

[Thalia]

Hello my name is Thalia Sylvena Skopellos and I was born on the 13 May 1979 in Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia which makes me 37 this year. I have a very Greek name as my father is Greek however my mother is Aboriginal mixed with Chinese, Filipino and South Sea Islander (as far as I am aware). I currently live in Sydney and am a full time university student and study a Bachelor of Music with a major in composition and music production.

I also want to first state up front that I do not proclaim to be on the Divine Love Path, I have a long, long way to go, I am just somebody who really wants to strive to get myself on the path in reconnecting and reestablishing a relationship with God, myself and becoming at-one with God.

I was introduced to Divine Truth, Nov of 2013 via good old Facebook of all places. A friend posted a link to one of the Mormon video’s (I was previously a mormon) on one of my posts and said this is my friend AJ who is Jesus. I just remember being intrigued about what that actually meant but decided to listen anyway and ask questions later. It was really easy for me to embrace Divine Truth teachings and not dismiss it because I had had a few big realisations over the years previously about soulmates although I didn’t know the term from a Divine Truth perspective, I just knew that there was one other person in the world that would be the perfect fit for me, I also became aware that feelings like fear and anxiety were connected to deeper experiences stemming from childhood and that love was the answer to all of the worlds problems but I didn’t know how. Also for years I had this postcard image of Jesus and Mary when he appeared to her after his death on display in my bedroom, so when I began listening to Divine Truth I just knew that I had to keep listening and learning, everything made so much sense to me and so I haven’t been able to put it down ever since.

Im not going to lie though in the beginning I saw Divine Truth as a way to make my life better rather than sincerely wanting to know or have a relationship with God. This has changed in the last year, I want nothing more now than to have a relationship with God and get to know who this Being is. I made a commitment at the beginning of 2015 to begin my relationship with God and although I do not yet long for God every minute of the day I endeavour to involve and talk to Her/Him on a daily basis and I sometimes fail at that but always get back up on the horse. One of my blocks (Im sure I have many) that I have come to realise recently is that I do not yet fully trust God, that God is there for me. I talk to God and believe in my head God exists but I have a great mistrust that God is actually there for me so that is going to be a big focus for me in 2016. I want God to become embedded in my heart and soul 24/7, I want to wake up and feel that God is right there, I want to know Her so much and love her as best as I can.

In regards to who I am, overall I have had a somewhat troubled life, I was sexually abused from the ages of 5-9, I have struggled with substance abuse and coming to terms with my sexuality (I am gay) whilst being heavily influenced by religion (I was a previous Mormon). I was raised in Kununurra, a small outback town in the far north of Western Australia by my mother in an aboriginal household that wasn't your standard nuclear family. I moved to Perth when I was 12 where my addiction to substances began in the early stages of my teenage years that would last for around 17 years all up.

I lived in suppression of my sexuality for around 10 years due to childhood and religious beliefs, I did not want to accept I was gay, I felt psychologically tormented and literally believed that I was going to hell and could not be loved by God for being gay. I have been an attention seeking, pretty selfish, narcissistic, vein, demanding, expecting and unloving person for most of my life and I have done much harm to others and myself that I still need to work through. I have also been arrogant in feeling that I am better than what I actually am, better than others when I am not, and have been in great denial and ignorance of many of my emotional addictions throughout my life. I have injuries with both genders, such as needing the women’s approval and attention from men. I feel that I want attention from men because I am angry and jealous of them getting the ‘better’ treatment in the world so getting attention from them gives me a sense of feeling equal to them or as good as them or even a sense of feeling in control or in power. I am yet to explore this in more depth emotionally.

2015 was more so a big year challenging my addiction to needing the womens approval, I asked God for one soul transformation on the biggest injury that I had not knowing what that would be and I attracted so many experiences with angry, controlling women in my life where it challenged me to confront the need for me to pander to them in order to be liked by them. Some of these women included my mother and sister, decade long friendships where I had to severe the relationship in order to love myself and them. This led me through some pretty deep intense emotions to do with my mother, my self worth and sexuality. I was able to connect to and feel how much I have hated my mother since I was 14 and feel about the things that I never got from my mother, how much I hated being female and how much I hated my existence as a soul, that I wished my soul was never created by God. I feel that I am much more stronger now in walking away from angry controlling women and not doing what they want me to do and that I will not engage relationships of this nature any more. However there are many different layers to my addiction with women so I do not feel completely healed in all of my addictions to needing the women’s approval and hopefully 2016 will be a continuation of this and much more.

One of my passion’s and gifts is music however I have used music to make myself feel better about myself and to seek for the glory and approval of the world. Music has been my God, one of the reasons that made me want to live and give up my addiction to substances was because of my desire to develop my gift of music. I saw music as my happiness and I turned it into an addiction to escape from feeling how I truly felt about myself. This is something that will also be a big focus of 2016 is purifying my intentions and desires with music and challenging/ceasing the addictions I have with it. I want to discover what God’s unique plan for me is with music and how I can use this gift that God has given me to serve God and benefit the world rather than take from it.

Overall I know I have many areas of my life that are still out of harmony with God’s Love, lots of addictions, fears and anger to feel, but I do really hope that over the next coming years I can really work through as much as I can with God by my side. I hope to learn and be inspired on this forum and continue to embrace Divine Truth teachings in my life for the rest of eternity. Thank you for the forum and the opportunity to learn and grow Nicky.

[Nicky]

Hi Thalia

Welcome to the forum. Great to speak with you again since the Assistance Group in 2014!

I enjoyed reading your intro and there were a few things you shared that are very relevant for me too at the moment and an answer to one of my own prayers, which is cool, so thanks for being open and sincere.

Hope you enjoy the time you spend on the forum and that it assists in your own development towards God and with yourself.

Nicky

[Thalia]

Cheers Nicky, good to speak to you too and hopefully see you at one of the future groups here in Oz. Take care

[LauraR]

Good morning Thalia,
Thank you for your introduction. It felt very sincere to me and has brought up emotion in me. I have a different background but similar injuries - angry men and angry women. The fear of angry men just recently came to my attention - through reading and posting on the forum. I don't know how I didn't see the injury before. It is so big and I can trace unloving treatment of me by males since I was very young. I believe this is one block to God that I have. But like you said I desire God to be with me 24/7 - even if at this point I don't really know what this means. So for me my goal this year will be to understand/feel my personal injuries regarding the male gender but also the multi-generational injuries and inter-gender relationships. It sounds like that should be the title of a course in University. It would be very benificial for all. I also know that I have been "the angry woman" - so I have some repentance to do, but I don't know the full depth of the damage I have caused.
I would just like to say again that I appreciate your honesty and in reading your post I feel I need to be more focused in my desires.
It is a pleasure to meet you,
Laura Rule