Hello everyone

[Dave]

It's a pleasure to have "stumbled upon" this forum.

I'm David. I was born here in Connecticut. I have a natural talent for the arts and a love of history and technology. I worked as a Computer Consultant for many years until i burned-out when my personal life became unmanageable. After a string of failed relationships, I found the Divine Truth channel in 2014 by searching for 'repentance' on YouTube.

Fast–forward to last night. I was watching a Spirit Discussion video where Jesus reiterates that, the primary law to receiving God's love is repentance. That really clicked for me. It's like I've come full circle in a way and really have to start putting this stuff into practice. There's all kinds of crap in me—blockages, pain, tremors, rage, envy, avoidant personality traits, abandonment issues, unworthiness issues etc. etc. it's exhausting just to think about it.

I want to thank Nicky & Company for having me here and a BIG thank you to Jesus and Mary.

With love,
David

[TristanM]

Hi David,
I'm really interested in the fact you found the Divine Truth video's searching repentance.
If you are okay with me asking some questions, I was wondering:

Why were you searching "repentance" on you tube? I got to say I have heard very few people say that they are searching for repentance or for information about repentance right from the word go (before learning that its one of the necessities to grow a personal relationship with god) and I am very curious as to why, if you felt like sharing that at all.

If you can remember: How high on the list was the video from Divine Truth once you searched "repentance"? I just searched it a second ago and in the first five pages I could not find the Divine Truth Channel. I was wondering if this was similar in 2014 and you looked through a lot of other things first or it came up close to the top at the time.

I have not been on this forum for quite a while, so I'm not sure I am qualified, but Welcome and I hope your experience on this forum in informative.

Sincerely,
Tris

[Dave]

G'day mate! It's really flattering to connect with you... I'm at a loss for words.

Why were you searching "repentance" on you tube?

Glad you ask! I'll spare the details... Sooo I thought I could win this girl over with poetry, right? Wrong. I went digging through a book called "Love Letters of Great Men" looking for the right vernacular. I posted it to allpoetry.com and that's when I came across a "repentance" category. I didn't know what the word meant up until that point. Well, a few Google clicks here and there and the rest is history I guess... I couldn't tell you the specifics really. I'm pretty sure there was some divine intervention going on. I was in a boatload of pain, begging for truth and found it in your father's teachings.

Thanks for the warm welcome Tristan!

With regard,
Dave

[Dave]

Not the best introduction but..

I will say I'm hurt that Nicky & Perry didn't bother to say hello but that's my rejection issues coming up and will be one of the hardest things to work through.. I still love you guys though! If you got nothing nice to say I welcome your constructive criticism.

I don't like writing about myself so here's a list of qualities I compiled from my psychology research..

accomplished, adaptable, adventurous, aesthetic, affectionate, ambitious, analytical, androgynous, appreciative, artistic, authentic, autonomous, committed, compassionate, constructive, contemplative, creative, deep, driven, eccentric, eloquent, empathetic, enduring, energetic, equanimous, experienced, expressive, faithful, free-spirited, gentle, gifted, gracious, honest, humane, idealistic, imaginative, independent, individualistic, inner-directed, inquiring, inquisitive, insightful, inspired, intellectual, intelligent, intense, intimate, intriguing, introspective, intuitive, ironic, knowledgeable, loving, loyal, methodical, moderate, mysterious, objective, observant, organized, original, passionate, perceptive, perfectionistic, personal, principled, punctual, reassuring, redemptive, refined, reforming, regenerative, resilient, romantic, self-aware, self-disciplined, self-empowered, self-expressive, self-possessed, self-revealing, self-sacrificing, sensitive, sensual, skillful, sophisticated, spiritual, spontaneous, stimulating, subjective, subtle, supportive, sympathetic, tactful, talented, tasteful, tolerant, tranquil, transcendent, truthful, unconventional, understanding, unique, vigilant, visionary, warm

Adieu

[Nicky]

Hi Dave

I am issuing you with a board warning for your latest post - you are in breach of a number of sections of the terms of use document.

Regards
Nicky

[Dave]

I am issuing you with a board warning for your latest post - you are in breach of a number of sections of the terms of use document.

Gotcha. This is familiar territory so I'm gonna step aside and hone in on this.

I'd like to express here the main issue that's causing me all kinds of devastation... The rage that arises when people play with my hot button.

1. Something subtle like a cold shoulder is enough to jab me and I wear it on my sleeve.. that's when the ego/sardonic wit comes out to play.
2. Most bosses use this to manipulate me with "job security" The rage that fills me up is "energizing" for a few weeks but is actually very destructive.
3. And of course, the worst is losing in love.. which I can't even describe right now but the terror can go on for months. (That's currently under control.)

I know I need to get "under the anger" when it arises (like right now) but that's where I get stuck.. though getting this off my chest is allowing me to see it more clearly. Perhaps it's a matter of exercising humility?

To the best of my knowledge, I didn't bond w either of my parents. Dad disappeared when I was a baby. Mother replaced him with an abusive step Dad and lied to me that he was my father just so he wouldn't have to compete for male dominance. There was a backlash in my teenage years.

I've established a relationship with my real Dad now, though I don't expect it to resolve the past.
I know to look to God as my Mother/Father and I have to own this... not project it at anyone.

I should rest but tomorrow I need to dig into more DT videos on the subject.

Thanks for allowing me an outlet and I apologize for being rude.
This is no easy task you put yourself up to and I respect you for it.

Dave

[Dave]

(Sigh) It wasn't pleasant digging that up but you guys didn't deserve that.

It was wrong of me to be demanding and to project my anger towards you and Perry.
I ask God for forgiveness and healing. Please accept my heart-felt apology.

[Dave]

I was being arrogant too just to set the record straight.
I've beaten myself up most my life and at some point started patting myself on the back to try and feel better.

Ok well I hope I didn't miss anything.

[Dave]