Hello from Long Island!

Say Hi to everyone - we’d love to get to know you
Brenda
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Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:45 pm

Hello from Long Island!

Post by Brenda » Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:10 am

My name is Brenda and I am 64 years old and I’m from New York. I’ve been learning Divine Truth for almost 3 years I believe. I’ve watched just about all of the DT videos and all of the Hub’s videos. All my life, and now even more as a senior citizen, I find it very difficult to remember what I learn which makes it very difficult for me put into practice what I learn. Maybe it’s blockages, I do not know. I was once diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. I am not aware of any spirit influence.

When I was about 7 years of age my parents separated. Dad was an alcoholic who didn’t work. We lived in Brooklyn NY at the time and my mother’s brother moved in with us and he took over the house payments and all the expenses of the house and bought the food. My mother had to raise her 4 daughters with his financial help or we would have been put up for adoption. My Uncle was a devout Catholic. I come from a Catholic background and when I was around 17 I was studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses for a while. That experience ruined my family togetherness. I was studying with a high school friend and my mother and one sister joined in on the studying and we attended services. My oldest sister disowned us and my baby sister was probably not interested in any of it. When my alcoholic father died when I was 19, my mother chose not to have a Catholic service for him but allowed the Witness friends to come to the funeral home. This was an outrage to my Uncle and my oldest sister. (Two of my sisters were married at that time). Well, my Uncle, to spite us, turned off the electricity and the heat. After about two weeks of living like that, my mother rented a two bedroom apartment for the three of us. The family was never the same after that.

So now fast forwarding to this time in my life and my discovering Divine Truth I find it unacceptable to let other people know. Once I did tell my 2nd oldest sister (who is now totally waiting to be Raptured by Jesus in the clouds) that I found Jesus and he is living in Australia and he has videos. Well she just said he’s a false prophet and the subject was never brought up again. Every question I ask her she has a Bible quote to answer me. Also, I mentioned Divine Truth to two of my nieces and they never got back to me on the subject, probably viewing me as crazy.

So, today I just finished watching the Hub’s video on Fear of sharing Divine Truth and felt compelled to tell my story. I feel in my heart Jesus and Mary are who they say they are and I love God’s Divine Truth and pray for His Love. I never feel it. I pray for Jesus or Mary to be at-one sooner rather than later as I’m not getting any younger. I feel when one of them becomes a Divine Angel then he/she will be become well known and have a big affect on the world. I fear if I share the Truth with my husband and 3 children I will be treated with lots of different reactions like when I was younger. About 2 years ago my husband changed from Catholicism to Lutheranism and he is now the Church’s Vice President. My husband is having multiple health issues this year after two surgeries and I will not upset him any further. My 3 children were raised Catholic, but now they do not practice anything. After telling you my story, basically all I ask is for your prayers. Thank you.

Brenda :)

Denny
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Denny » Sat Jul 09, 2016 11:55 pm

Brenda
I'm from New Jersey
I feel your situation, I'm also your age.
The beauty of it all is that each soul will come in their own time.
I have many questions for our wonderful teachers Jesus and Mary but I'm sure I will soon get my answered somehow.
All I can say it's a relief that we recognize their really here.
Be patient and persistent.
Take care,
Dennis

Brenda
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Brenda » Sun Jul 10, 2016 1:46 am

Thank you Dennis for your kind words. I never thought I'd feel so alone in my spirituality. I have given some thought to attending church services like Nicky says he does, but I don't think I could get past giving praise to Jesus like I always have. I wish you good luck in your spirituality. I will pray for you.

Brenda

Dave
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Dave » Mon Jul 11, 2016 8:08 am

Ahoy there neighbor! It's nice to see some locals around here..
Brenda wrote:All my life, and now even more as a senior citizen, I find it very difficult to remember what I learn which makes it very difficult for me put into practice what I learn. Maybe it’s blockages, I do not know. I was once diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.
You seem pretty sharp to me! We all get a little ADD sometimes.. Are you taking good notes? ie: keeping a journal, listing your fears, etc.
Brenda wrote: So, today I just finished watching the Hub’s video on Fear of sharing Divine Truth and felt compelled to tell my story..
Thanks for sharing Brenda. It's hard to get people to listen but you're definitely not alone in this!

Brenda
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Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:45 pm

Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Brenda » Mon Jul 11, 2016 5:30 pm

Hi Dave,
I do take some notes but they are not very legible. I don't really ever go back and read them. My memory is really awful. I hardly have any memories of my childhood. I barely even remember raising my 3 children and they are in the 30's now. So many times someone will mention something that happened in the past and I don't remember. I feel that the best I can do is after watching a video is to remember some of it and when I go to bed I pray about what sticks in my head. I don't have any place to go and get emotional (but I find that really impossible to do). You are very young. I hope you always keep your memories.

Brenda

Dave
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Dave » Tue Jul 12, 2016 12:28 am

It's my understanding that memories are stored on a soul level. I too am in my 30s.. but music seems to help me connect with the hurt child inside. I whipped up a playlist and put it in the appropriate thread for you: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1112

Hope that jogs your memory.

Cheers,
Dave

Elvira
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Elvira » Tue Jul 12, 2016 1:49 am

Hi Brenda,
I would like to suggest to you that a good starting place for you would be to admit to yourself that you don't want to remember and you don't want to feel because that might trigger a memory. In your introduction you justify holding onto your fear, and you feel very fearful. I have been and very often still am in that place, and I have found it useful to begin by really looking at and understanding where I am at. This invariably also requires feeling, maybe starting with the small law of attraction events God uses to guide you every day.

Hi Dave,
is it possible that you want to rescue Brenda?

All my best
Elvira

Dave
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Dave » Tue Jul 12, 2016 5:55 am

Nice to meet you Elvira,

Um.. well, there may be some truth in that. I have a history of longing to be rescued..
However, I'm aware that I have to be self-responsible... it's just that a little guidance goes a long way.
I generally get along with people twice my age for whatever reason.. I'm not a good judge of why that is.

Thanks for your feedback!

You're right though you gotta wanna feel it! So much better after a good cry. I've been bawling my eyes out all week!

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Perry
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Perry » Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:00 am

Hi Brenda,

Welcome to the forum.

I would have to agree with Elvira here, that you are in a lot of fear, I dare say TERROR. I can 'understand' your fear giving the story you gave of your childhood, however like, Elvira mentioned, you are justifying your fear, and by doing this, YOU WILL NEVER progress.

I feel there is a ton of pain in your childhood, and this is why you do not wish to remember anything of it - (Go back to being around 7 for starters)
You say that you are praying for Gods love and not receiving it, then I would have to say that you are not praying for Gods love. If you were to receive Gods love, there would be a ton of grief for you to feel, and this is what you are avoiding. Also, you ask for 'others' to pray for you. This again indicates to me that you wish not to feel. You prefer others to pray for you. Whilst praying for others is possible, it is much more powerful for you to pray for yourself, but again, I imagine you refrain from this because you wish to not feel the hurt. If you are praying, you are probably asking God to deal with the effects. I'm not certain, but I'd say you are terrified of God, and you do not trust God at all, and why would that be?

Also wanting Jesus or Mary to become at one with God first is an excuse for you to not engage the process. You want them to become famous first, so then it is 'safe' for you to talk about Divine Truth publicly, them being famous first helps you avoid others seeing you as crazy/ or being attacked etc... (Another fear).

If your Husband is having health trouble and 2 surgeries, then he himself must avoiding a lot of Truth. I also think you are deceiving yourself when you say that you wish not to upset your husband further by not telling him the Truth. My feeling is, you wish not to feel how you will feel to his response when you tell him the Truth. Since Love and Truth go hand in hand, and you are refusing to tell him the Truth, the question becomes 'Are you loving him?' or yourself for that matter, why would you not want to tell the Truth? What fear do you keep under wraps by keeping quiet?

In regards to being Alone on a spiritual journey, there became a point in my progression when I drew a line in the sand and basically said to myself 'Right, its me and you now God, I'm asking nobody else for advice for a good while until I establish a relationship with you'. I then made a point of being on my own, making decisions on my own ( I was forever asking others), I made a tons of mistakes on my own (I was terrified of making mistakes). A lot of relationships broke up along the way (Which I was desperate to hold on to).
In the end, I didn't care anymore 'who was with me', I just knew that 'I' was going for it (no forum back then)... I had a feeling that I had to have to attitude that I would do this on my own (to include God of course - but on my own in the sense that I was willing to let other beings walk away from me, whether that be family, friends or relationships) I knew I had to start taking some personal responsibility if I wanted to progress.
(all the above still apply to me, I still many fears, I still don't act on certain things etc.. but I'm getting better).

OK Brenda. There was a great feedback session that I watched the other day, that if you haven't seen already I think would be really helpful for you. The subject was 'Jesus gives personal feedback to regarding terror of taking loving actions and the false beliefs that drive this state, and beliefs that we must earn love and how that prevents the flow of God's Love'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtdmKMfYg58

All the videos are great, but we have to take action before any of it will have a positive impact on our lives.
Hope this was helpful

Perry

Dave
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Re: Hello from Long Island!

Post by Dave » Tue Jul 12, 2016 11:48 am

Hi Brenda,
I apologize for yesterday, I'm in no position to assist others. I guess I was pining for some guidance myself.

I'm in between jobs so being home all day, I decided to try the experiment. It went well, though I should've kept hydrated and gotten more rest. I have to get back to the "real world" eventually so my goal is to sort out the facade, hurt-self and real-self somewhat. Thought I'd share my experience.

I hope you make the time and space for your own emotional processing.

I'm giving myself a break from the forum to do just that!

God Bless You All,
David

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