Introducing me
Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:25 am
Hi all
My name is Teresa French, I have just turned 50, I'm married to a man for the past 14 years, who doesn't share my beliefs but is accepting of them, we have an 11yo daughter and I have a 21yo son from a previous marriage.
I live in Uralla, which is in the highlands on a plateau in northern New South Wales, Australia and have been for the past three years - before that I lived in another little country town for six years, before that in Sydney for about 15 years and before that I came from New Zealand, where I was born to migrant Dutch parents, and have two elder sisters, three elder and one younger brother, plus a sister who was stillborn, whom I occasionally feel when I think of her (like now)
One of my elder sisters, Karen, introduced me to Jesus, literally and via his videos, in 2009 and I have devoured every single video since then - sometime last year I realised that I had an addiction/injury about having to know everything about a subject in order to make sure I "did it right and didn't get into trouble" - I have eased up on that somewhat now.
I went to the first assistance group in Australia last year which I found confronting and enlightening, and have ruminated over a lot of what I have learnt since then.
After receiving feedback, not for the first time, from Jesus and Mary that I have a lot of rage, I reflected on this and in November starting seeing a trauma counselor/psychologist - my question to her was that I didn't want everyone to be afraid of me (because of my anger) anymore. This finally helped me make some emotional progress after years of being stuck, in that I was diagnosed with an attachment disorder, which, while I didn't want to use as an excuse, explained to me my difficulty in connecting with my emotions and feeling, well, anything really. It was actually quite challenging as well as liberating, to find out that no, I wasn't being stubborn or bad, but there actually was something "wrong" with me.
So, I have spent the past nine months working on that (I believe it is the hardest thing I have done in my life!), and am seeing real changes that give me hope that I can change and progress in love. In the past three or so months I have been putting more focus into developing my long-abandoned connection with God that I had when I was younger, in my teens really, and things are starting to change for me. Hugely and wonderfully. Long, long way to go but! But I am happy that I have started seeing changes in my life and in my relationships.
I was really excited and a bit (not sure of the adjective, but) in trepidation, to learn of and about this forum. But, reflecting overnight, I am feeling that I want to step in here and participate, rather than hide. (And work out if this is just an addiction, or how much of it is addictive and how much is pure desire to grow - I feel that I have shifted around my desire for growth in the past year.)
I am looking forward to interactions and meeting new people with a similar (and higher, to inspire me!) level of desire and catching up with others who I have already met either in the flesh or in the virtual world in other forums - I am hoping this forum will set the bar for loving forums, and am encouraged by what I have read so far.
Thank you Nicky for the opportunity, and the gift of this forum. I am happy to be here.
love,
Teresa
My name is Teresa French, I have just turned 50, I'm married to a man for the past 14 years, who doesn't share my beliefs but is accepting of them, we have an 11yo daughter and I have a 21yo son from a previous marriage.
I live in Uralla, which is in the highlands on a plateau in northern New South Wales, Australia and have been for the past three years - before that I lived in another little country town for six years, before that in Sydney for about 15 years and before that I came from New Zealand, where I was born to migrant Dutch parents, and have two elder sisters, three elder and one younger brother, plus a sister who was stillborn, whom I occasionally feel when I think of her (like now)
One of my elder sisters, Karen, introduced me to Jesus, literally and via his videos, in 2009 and I have devoured every single video since then - sometime last year I realised that I had an addiction/injury about having to know everything about a subject in order to make sure I "did it right and didn't get into trouble" - I have eased up on that somewhat now.
I went to the first assistance group in Australia last year which I found confronting and enlightening, and have ruminated over a lot of what I have learnt since then.
After receiving feedback, not for the first time, from Jesus and Mary that I have a lot of rage, I reflected on this and in November starting seeing a trauma counselor/psychologist - my question to her was that I didn't want everyone to be afraid of me (because of my anger) anymore. This finally helped me make some emotional progress after years of being stuck, in that I was diagnosed with an attachment disorder, which, while I didn't want to use as an excuse, explained to me my difficulty in connecting with my emotions and feeling, well, anything really. It was actually quite challenging as well as liberating, to find out that no, I wasn't being stubborn or bad, but there actually was something "wrong" with me.
So, I have spent the past nine months working on that (I believe it is the hardest thing I have done in my life!), and am seeing real changes that give me hope that I can change and progress in love. In the past three or so months I have been putting more focus into developing my long-abandoned connection with God that I had when I was younger, in my teens really, and things are starting to change for me. Hugely and wonderfully. Long, long way to go but! But I am happy that I have started seeing changes in my life and in my relationships.
I was really excited and a bit (not sure of the adjective, but) in trepidation, to learn of and about this forum. But, reflecting overnight, I am feeling that I want to step in here and participate, rather than hide. (And work out if this is just an addiction, or how much of it is addictive and how much is pure desire to grow - I feel that I have shifted around my desire for growth in the past year.)
I am looking forward to interactions and meeting new people with a similar (and higher, to inspire me!) level of desire and catching up with others who I have already met either in the flesh or in the virtual world in other forums - I am hoping this forum will set the bar for loving forums, and am encouraged by what I have read so far.
Thank you Nicky for the opportunity, and the gift of this forum. I am happy to be here.
love,
Teresa