Red Strike (& Mute) - Sandra T

[Nicky]

Hi

I have issued Sandra T with a RED STRIKE and a muting from the forum due to her post to Eloisa in the below thread:

viewtopic.php?f=47&t=822

I feel Sandra has breached the following sections of the terms of use that constitute a red strike:

1)Manipulation and/or control tactics to gain a feeling of power over myself or others
2)Defending the actions of another member who has previously received a strike (in this case, Phoebe)

I initially issued Sandra with a warning on the thread after feeling as though there was something quite "off" with her initial post aimed towards predominantly Eloisa, but also somewhat to Lena too. I raised with her a few principles when I issued the warning that I could recognise were important for Sandra to reflect on. But also, as I was not sure at the time as to what the deeper issue was, which I felt was more than just the issue that Phoebe was given an amber strike for, it would be unfair and harsh if I was to strike her for something that I did not feel clear about at the time.

I have since felt through more about what went on and now I have come to a clear conclusion and have come back within 48 hours to address it in full.

Sandra was actually pretty attacking towards Eloisa, which was concealed under quite an amount of facade, making it fairly tough to identify as the words used in the post seem quite innocent, particularly as it appears Sandra wanted to understand the issue further by asking a number of questions. I want to be clear that it was not the asking of the questions that Sandra has been issued a red strike for, but the underlying intent behind them. (just a note, I'd like to thank Mary for bringing this important matter to my attention for consideration before issuing this strike).

The intent behind Sandra's post was not to understand the principles of love regarding the issue raised in the thread, but to gain feelings of power and control over Eloisa. Sandra stated that she acted towards Phoebe in a similar manner that Phoebe acted towards Lena however, instead of self-reflecting, Sandra chose to write a post and express her disagreement with Eloisa for issuing a strike to Phoebe without really understanding the issue and considering whether she is in error herself. Sandra constructed her post in quite a manipulative way in order to exert her "dominance" over Eloisa and to make Eloisa feel bad about herself.

Because of these underlying intentions, Sandra wrote her post in facade and the majority of her post was used to justify her own sin and unloving actions towards Eloisa.

These underlying intentions can also be further evidenced. Sandra raised her disagreement after Eloisa edited her post stating that she will be explaining the issue in full later on which highlights Sandra's impatience and attacking intent behind her post. This can be seen when comparing the date of Eloisa's edit (which she clearly states) and the date/time of Sandra's post. Sandra was more focused on defending her own actions/justifying her sin & attacking Eloisa rather than reflecting and waiting on Eloisa's further post to understand the principles which reflects her lack of sincerity and highlights the direction of where her will is currently engaged.

Two days prior to Sandra's post to Eloisa, she wrote an earlier post HERE acknowledging these very addictions herself which I have quoted below:

I am realising that my heavy addictions to power and control, as well as superiority, and the spirits that I engage to help me sin by living in these addictions, are the primary issue for me to work through at this point in time. I am aware of my unwillingness to give these addictions up, and I actually admire the spirits that I am in a co-dependent addictions with, I wish to be like them so much, actually. I do not yet see how and if ever, I will choose to change this, at this point I see very little hope for improvement, despite a continual growth in my realisation of how bad the situation really is

This illustrates an important principle of Divine Truth. Although you may have some kind of intellectual understanding of your addictions, if your will is not engaged in emotionally processing through the issues, the dominance of the emotions within the soul WILL manifest at any given opportunity as it has done in this interaction towards Eloisa, particularly if you are insincere and want to hold on to these feelings and choose to act on them which further damages yourself and others.

I have decided to mute Sandra rather than ban her because she has subsequently acknowledged her attacking intentions behind her initial post later on in the thread rather than deny them (which still does not excuse the action). Sandra has been made aware of these addictions for quite some time now through direct personal feedback from Jesus & Mary in person on numerous occasions. I myself was at one of these personal feedback sessions at the 2014 Assistance Group where Jesus provided Sandra with much guidance and truth on these issues. Although she is yet to feel in her heart the severity of acting in these sins (and therefore would not engage in them), I feel she will benefit from still being able to view the forum and posts rather than being banned. This will also protect the other members of the forum while Sandra works through her addictions.

Thanks
Nicky

[Nicky]

Hi

I have received some private correspondence from Sandra which she was going to post on the forum before logging in and noticing that I had issued her with a strike and muted her account.

I feel Sandra's reflections will help others learn more about the dynamics of what occurred so I have copied the post that she would have published on the forum had I not already muted her account:

Dear Eloisa, Lena, Phoebe and Nicky

I have been reflecting upon my actions in writing the above post to Eloisa. I see now that I was completely out of line with the nasty intentions to pull down and undermine Eloisa, because of my outrage about her decision, which I tried to conceal in the message. I have actually falsely suggested that I know better than Eloisa on this subject, by trying to undermine her decision.

What is even more awful, is the fact that I was aware of your injury Eloisa about other people undermining you (having listened to your personal relationship session), and consciously decided to further your pain on this issue. This is very nasty and attacking. I can liken it to you having been kicked to the ground, and while trying to get back up, I have kicked you back down again.

I have harmed Phoebe, through my addiction to commiseration with what I am now starting to see as a sin, in manipulating others by telling them about how we truly feel towards them, in order to avoid taking responsibility for the harm we perpetrate towards them. I am starting to recognise the truth of Eloisa's comments about this issue. I can see my justifications of the sins that I have perpetrated towards Phoebe in my communication with her, and aggressive disagreement and argumentation about it in what I have posted to Eloisa.

I have also demanded of Lena to share how she felt about it, only to undermine Eloisa further. In defending Phoebe's and my own error, I disregarded you Lena and your feelings as to the harm which was done towards you.

Lena, your evaluation of where I am at, is very accurate and it has opened up my eyes to the damaging effects of my choices to sin and justify my sins in the way that I do, which is exactly how you have described it. Thank you for your observation. I have made a decision to stop engaging this awfully damaging addiction, in the hope of actually taking some responsibility for my actions and behaviour towards others. I can see intellectually how it helps me to avoid feeling and to justify causing further damage to people.

I have also realised that I have wasted so much of your precious time, which you could have spent on people who sincerely desire to grow and learn about Divine Truth and love. The list of consequences of my actions goes on, and I have not even seen the tip of the iceberg yet, and I am very resistive to feeling about any of them. I have no sincerity yet to see and feel the full extent of my trespasses against all of you, yet alone feel repentant for them.

Nicky, I find your comments to me very valuable especially the example what a humble person would do. If I had done as you have suggested, I would have avoided causing us all a lot of pain and heartache. I am grateful for your question to me about why I have even created such a post, as a point of reflection for me about the issues of love involved. I feel, that since I have broken more than one of the terms of use of the forum, I have decided to remove myself from further participation in the forum for now, in order to give myself the opportunity to feel the extent of damage I have wilfully and consciously chosen to perpetrate upon others here. I do not trust myself that I will not do it again, until I feel a desire in my heart to emotionally deal with the reasons why I choose to harm other people.

Thank you so much for your feedback, the work you do to help others to grow in love and in their relationship with God. I would love to be able to engage the gift of the forum in the future.

Thanks
Nicky