2 Amber Strikes - Cari

[Lena]

Hi

As some of you may have noticed there has been a number of feedback from admins going towards women on this forum, in order to expose as many addictions and intentions behind these posts as we can at this time.


I have decided to issue Cari with 2 AMBER STRIKES

1. Posting on the forum in facade 'wanting to know', engaging to ask questions without humility to want to know all Truth on the matter, staying invested in her own opinion about her intentions and wanting to maintain that facade of herself even when it is confronted.

2. And attempts to manipulate and/or control tactics to gain a feeling of power over situation or others while resisting feedback and remaining to be insincere

This disciplinary action is due to posting in the following thread:
viewtopic.php?f=16&t=723

Cari, first of all, I feel you have not posted your initial post with a sincere desire - an open heart to know the Truth on this matter. I feel you have posted still in addiction to want only people to comment what you wanted to hear from them. Thus already preventing any possibility of a feedback to be received.
The highlighted issues will be visible in my comments below and in the quotes.


The following shows that you do have some issues with humility and to be sincere enough to ask for help and stay open to that help. And you actually go on and act out the very emotion you describe, below, in the entire exchange.

You said:

“ I know that AJ has said previously that we only really need to pray to God, but at the same time there are also so many spirits that are trying to help us as well. I get very conflicted with this. Not because I disagree, but because I have been in a place for so long that I would not ask for help, that I really feel I need help now and am still judging myself for feeling that way. Judging myself still that I really shouldn't ask for help, I should be stronger than this. “

After you have received many suggestions from Maureen on the post subject, you show your ongoing resistance to be helped and an attempt to manipulate what you said in order to get what you wanted to hear from people, rather than see what has been suggested to you:

It is obvious here:

“I don't know that I really communicated what I was thinking.”

I know it is often difficult to write what we feel and often can be an issue with misunderstandings, however I do not feel this is the case here. I feel you use this comment to try to get your way over Maureen and to brush off anything that she has actually suggested to you, suggesting that she has misunderstood you.

You continue to ask:

“ The over cloaking and all the things that these spirits can do to influence us makes me feel like I want to communicate with the ones that are with me. Is that an acceptable thing to do?”

And while Maureen has suggested for you to look at possible addictions you may have in having this desire, you have reacted to such suggestions with a strong feeling that your intentions are actually pure.
However it is evident to me from your own post that you do have a self serving intention in this desire, meaning to help spirits in order to avoid your own emotional blocks and excuses to not feel your own emotions.

I will be direct with you on the question you have actually raised in your post and will say, that it is actually hypocritical, selfish of you and arrogant to think, that you can help spirits to progress or to leave you, when they have been attracted to you due to the feelings you have but you not yet had a desire to release, however you want to help them to feel theirs feelings while you are blocked to yours, do you see an issue with that and that it will never work in practice.

You say here:

“One told me that I did not want to know and the other one told me that it wouldn't let me move forward, because "I couldn't handle it" the answer that was to come.”

I am going to suggest to you, that what spirits were telling you, were your own actual blocks and beliefs about being emotionally overwhelmed. And once you will work through those issues, you would no longer have/need spirits who would tell you such a things.
And even if they were still around, they would be more willing to know then than any other time.

You state:

“I love you all and I am asking you to please be open and allow me to move forward with this, I really need to do this and I would appreciate it if you could support me and just love me through this. “

Here you are engaging in addiction with these spirits, again trying to void your own blocks, and actually emotionally asking their permission to feel your stuff. Which is a codependent relationship. So again, this is a good place for you to come back to and re-read your own comments.

I personally feel that if we feel oppressed by spirits, besides the fact that they are there due to our emotions, I would pray to God to either show me the emotions why these spirits with me, or I would pray to God asking if I can have a clear space to feel, while realising that I will need to deal with the attraction with this spirits at some point in the near future as God will want me to see it all anyways.

What you have described you did with the spirits, while this may have made you feel like their oppression has stopped and maybe has worked once, which I can not comment about what emotions you were able to feel under such a circumstances.
I can tell you from my personal experience that this will not work with spirits who will do anything to get their addictions through your addictions met and will feel very angry with you about wanting to confront them, your addictions and people on earth with the same feelings as them.
They will not want to budge or relief you of their oppression, while there are things that they know they can get from being around you.

So do you see now that what Maureen has actually been trying to tell you is very valid and relevant. To look at your intentions behind wanting to engage with these spirits and telling yourself a story that you wish to do so out of love for them.

The following quote I feel especially outlines your resistance to look at your addictions and resistance for self reflection on this subject:

“Thank you again for continuing with me in this thread as it definitely has given me some things to consider about my intent, belief systems, communication in relationships, and so forth. I absolutely do mean it when I tell these spirits that I love them, no matter what condition that they are attracted to me in. “

I feel some annoyance in this first sentence and a facade, and not a true gratitude on your part. So you are not honest when you say thank you to Maureen. Which highlights the addiction of wanting to appear nice and polite and retain your facade of not being triggered by anything that Maureen has told you.
This addiction only accelerates in your second sentence. When you insist to love spirits who oppress you and slow down your progression towards God.
I feel you have a big addiction to feel and appear like you love others. Which actually you may find out, will be another block in your progression towards God. As God only will respond to your true feelings and not a facade of being loving.

I can see now how this entire paragraph actually feels to me as a facade and not sincere statements. In fact the first sentence contradicts your second sentence to a large degree. You say that you will consider your belief systems and so forth, however want to insist on one of your addictions and false beliefs in the very second sentence.

And here:

“You have mentioned a lot of your personal things in this thread as well. I want you to know that I have read them and that what you are going through, discovering, sharing, and so on is important. At this time though other than what I just said, I do not feel that I want to make any additional comments about it.”

In this comment your ongoing frustration with Maureen is more obvious. As it feels like you grew tired of your interaction with her, due to not having addictions met and having not desire to go anywhere near the emotions that have been brought up.
And I also feel that you felt some degree of condescension towards Maureen and her sharing with you therefore did not appreciate her honesty with you, quite contrary to what you said.

And finally the last bit:

“While I may not have addressed everything that you said or think that I should have responded to ,if you choose to would you please share with me where I actually expressed in this communication that I would not look into the the things that you had said?”

Well Cari, I feel it is unloving of you to expect somebody who was honest and has spent hours of time to share with you some truth to want them do extra work, in the meantime you have remained in your facade and resistance and have been very dismissive of any gifts from Maureen, but now wanting Maureen to work harder to help you with it.

I have tried my best to outline the issues I have seen in your exchange with Maureen and give you some examples and my feedback about your comments. So I hope this is what you wanted.

I feel this disciplinary action may help you see the lack of sincerity and amount of resistance you have and desire for your facade and addictions to be maintained which all needs your attention and work at this time if you wish to grow closer to God.

All the best with this, if you choose to engage in the process of honest self reflection

Lena


edit:
I would just like to add a link to the feedback that Nicky has already provided to Cari at an earlier date, stating to her about the addiction to stay positive and cheering herself and others. Keeping the polite and positive facade.
Also about her resistance to humbly asking for help.

It is apparent that Cari has some feelings about being helped, and so far I have observed her either not ask for any help and march alone or ask for it in addiction, while not being able to actually receive it and investigate her fears and why being blocked to help.

You can view the full exchange here:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=588

[Lena]

Hi everyone who is reading,

This update is based on the 2 private messages I have received from Cari, please review them below.

There are some things I would like to inform you all relating to this thread.
I had an opportunity to chat with Mary about this issue, in good detail, and she has given me some feedback on emotions which were blocking me to trust my feelings more and encouraged that I make Cari's private emails as public for everyone's benefit to learn from.

This is not to shame Cari or make her feel bad about herself.
Also this is not written because Cari was raising questions about the feedback, as I feel it is healthy to ask questions and clarifications.

As stated, in my original Strike post to her, seen above, I was writing about things to her which were harming herself and others.

--- ---

I have been initially contemplating if I wanted to remove 1 Amber Strike from Cari, as I felt she may have been a person who was willing to self reflect and willing to grow in love sincerely, and that I perhaps have been not patient or assisting her enough so too quick to issue her with 2 Amber Strikes, as seen above.

I would like to take this opportunity and tell you what has happened.
I feel the following lessons of love may be of benefit not only to myself, but to many other people who have similar injuries as I have as well as the injuries which Cari has.
I know there are several people on the forum who have these opposing injuries.

I have read Cari's response to Maureen after she has read my feedback in this Strike thread. And she has showed some, what looks like, self reflection and remorse about her treatment of Maureen.
You can read it here:
viewtopic.php?p=2896#p2896

Here I feel I need to tell you, so the rest of what I share hopefully is more clear.
I myself have a massive addiction to self doubt myself, as soon as my fears are triggered. As a way to cope with the situation and to minimise my fears by minimising my opinion to nothing, so the abuser or a person who is threatening to me can have their own way and only can hear their own voice, hence will not attack me. In fact this addition screams at people to dismiss me and not to take any notice about what I say, as it feels safer to me, as this means I get to avoid attention of an angry person.

After I have read Cari’s response to Maureen, I started to doubt if 2 Strikes were essential at that point in time, and so I have replied to her about that I will review the issued Strikes to her, as I felt more about them. I didn’t say that I will cancel them all together.

I was also very specific, that I did not want to take Cari away from reflecting about her emotions that were triggered by this law of attraction, as she stated herself.

What this has done, by me not owning my fears and by acting out in a doubtful way prematurely taking actions, I have opened myself to be doubted by Cari, dismissed, but most importantly, Cari immediately felt that it was ok to dismiss my entire feedback to her.
Her reaction I feel was based on what I said (that I will feel more about it and review it) and of course on the feeling she could feel within myself that I doubt myself and its ok for others to dismiss me. Also, it was her way to avoid seriously looking at any emotions which she has acted out in the thread with Maureen.

Cari has jumped at the opportunity to question what I said to her and re-directed her addictive behaviour which was displayed with Maureen now onto me.
In her private messages to me, you can see how Cari has chosen to engage with me in the exact same manner as she has done with Maureen, for which she was issued 2 strikes.

In her private messages, Cari again, chooses to project nasty feelings while using the polite facade and nice wording. These are the very things I have highlighted in my strikes to her.

She has displayed a polite facade at the start of her email. Then launched into discrediting myself by pretending she is asking questions.
She has attempted to put everything back onto me, by picking on the "mistakes" I may have made in my feedback.
She remained to be arrogant, dismissive.
And have chosen to stay resistant and act out her resistance to the received feedback, rather than experiment with it further and feel about it.

Even she only asked a few questions about parts of my feedback, I feel that in her heart, she has already dismissed my entire feedback, for which only a day prior, she was grateful and thankful. This further exposes her facade.
The questions Cari asks, are things that she would like to distract herself with, away from the main points I was talking to her about.

I feel if Cari was as sincere as she wants everybody to believe, she would respond to me completely differently, with honesty admitting her feelings whatever there were upset, unfair or puzzled, frustrated etc.... or for example, she may have chosen to say that she needs to feel what are her own feelings or what are just my feelings which she can not connect to.

This experience has confirmed to me that my 2 x Amber Strikes were issued based on all valid feelings I have felt from Cari, which I almost disregarded by believing Cari’s facade.

*
Cari, I feel you must look closer at your real intentions and feelings here. And not be afraid to just be your true self, state your true responses and realise your desire to pretend to be nice and together, while your true feelings remain buried under. And the evidence that there are some feelings for you to look at, is the fact that you have now engaged in a very unloving behaviour already many times on this forum, without any real self reflection.

I feel there is a major issue that you are continuing to do so without any real self-reflection.



Thanks, Lena

Good day!
Sent: Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:58 pm
From: Cari07
Recipient: Lena

Good day, Lena!

Thank you for your follow up comment. I am thankful for your feedback. I finally have a real time example that someone has pointed out to me being in addiction and facade and that is extremely beneficial for me to finally be able to see that.

Honestly, I was wondering myself how I would be able to keep communicating on here. I was thinking, if I was attending one of the talks or even if Maureen and I were face to face (which I believe is still the best way to communicate) would someone be there monitoring our conversation, waiting to drop a flag in on it like a referee or something? Please don't get me wrong, I understand why it is necessary to monitor the forum, but just to what depth? This is a bit of a challenging way to communicate considering the principles of Divine Truth at times. Because it doesn't necessarily run on like a conversation would face to face. People may stop talking as soon as they feel anything slightly off and deal with it or not, but the fear of receiving a "strike" could be intimidating for some folks so then what could have been a conversation turns out to be a kink in communication. That is just me thinking out loud though, I have not spoken with this with anyone else that participates on here.

I know that Jesus and Mary stop and correct people on the spot in their talks. I have seen it numerous times, but that is usually to say that "I don't agree with what you're saying", meaning they are more than likely talking in facade. I am sure they may have even had to ask people to leave the venue and not come back until they have worked through their unloving things. But I was wondering to what end? I am thinking it may be more than just one or 2 conversations for the most part. It seems to me that if someone at least shows a sincere desire, they are patient and compassionate to give them some time to learn and grow in love and truth.

I like the idea of the feedback, but not in the form of punishment. I feel there is a time and place for punishment as disciplinary action can be perceived as. I was thinking about that as well all day yesterday. I even looked up different definitions of it online to see what it really meant. So technically it could be feedback for actions taken according to the definitions. But what it feels like to me is punishment considering how it is usually used here in the US.

I noticed that you used "disciplinary action" twice in your message to me. I have been in charge of groups of people and I really considered what it took for me to get to where I would issue disciplinary action to someone. It would usually be to the end of something that I personally worked with them on. Gave them examples, training, was an example myself, and did what I could with them help them understand what the issue or concern was that needed to be looked at and addressed, gave them every feasible opportunity to receive and learn the lesson. Looking at my 2 month history, I didn't really see where that happened with me, so I did feel about it being considered "discipline" as opposed to a learning opportunity in love. But I still took it as a positive regardless of how it was presented. I needed that.

There are 2 other things I wanted to share with you about your post. In the first paragraph you said, "I feel you have posted still in addiction to want only people to comment what you wanted to hear from them." I thought "still"? What is she talking about? I only have one other admin feedback from Nicky and it didn't mention this specific issue of only wanting people to post back what I want to hear and also she never spoke to me before, so where is "still" coming from? I don't know if you went back and read my other posts and your thoughts were you saw me doing that before and that is just how it came out in your message? It just seemed as if it was a continuation of a conversation that wasn't had and that you may have felt either frustrated or annoyed as if I had not previously complied. I am not sure.

Also at the end of your message you signed off with, "All the best with this, if you choose to engage in the process of honest self reflection" Hmmmm, I thought well that wasn't necessary. That last bit of the sentence didn't line up with the thought that you were giving me feedback to consider and before you even signed off, you weren't even giving me the opportunity to "fail" at self reflection, it was as if you were already projecting it at me. If I don't follow up or keep looking into and feeling what you took the time to share with me, then that is truly my loss indeed. The information you provided me is absolutely still beneficial and I have and will continue to work with and review it.

I am glad you wrote me back. I was considering if I should address you or not. I did not see anyone else address their feedback session on the forum, so I hesitated, but since you opened the door I walked in to share with you how I felt about the way the feedback was presented.

Again Lena thank you for your time, being direct, and giving detailed comments it has already helped me tremendously.

Warmest regards,

Cari

Just an additional note
Sent: Wed Jan 13, 2016 12:38 am
From: Cari07
Recipient: Lena

Lena,

Also I don't know if you read through my posts, but I wanted to share this link to this one specifically.

viewtopic.php?f=21&t=693&p=2400#p2400

You stated at the end of your post "It is apparent that Cari has some feelings about being helped and so far I have observed her either not ask for any help and march alone or ask for it in addiction, while not being able to actually receive it and investigate her fears and why being blocked to help"

In the link I attached, I wrote in bold letters that I NEED HELP. While I didn't pose that as a question to anyone in particular, I did ask specifically related Divine Truth questions which I felt were relevant to me having issues with my processing. Just because no one responded, doesn't mean that I don't need help.

I do need help and I specifically stated that I am working on that as well. Everything is requiring to be addressed now at all once and I am trying to figure out how to maintain my existence and manage dealing with all of this as well as I am sure all of us are doing that are sincere about Divine Truth in this process. I just retired from the military after 26 years and I have a lot of feelings about how I was treated and being a part of such an unloving organization. I walked into Divine Truth immediately after this change in my life happened, my life came to a screeching halt, so this is a lot to juggle and figure out without having a nervous breakdown in the process which has been close on some days.

I don't know if you would consider that link me asking for help or not, but I thought it was worth the share.

Thanks again!

Cari