Hi Tara,
Thank you for your response; I, too, had gotten triggered by a comment you had made earlier. As a result, in my last note to you (asking for clarification between grief and pain), I was coming from a place of fear. I sensed (or projected) that you were frustrated by my posting the link to the soulmate talk, and I was trying to pander to you, in hopes that you wouldn't be angry with me. This is one of my biggest addictions: trying to avoid women's anger. I apologize for not coming from a place of truth and humility around this.
After I wrote the question (about the difference between grief & pain), I quickly realized that they are very obviously different, yet related. I feel grief is one of a number of painful emotions that is either stored within us or in motion as it is releasing from us.
I mention this because Lisa you mentioned that you have been feeling deep pain and where there is pain love does not exist.
Just to clarify, in my original post I said that I
wasn't feeling the deep pain around my soulmate; I was actually having trouble getting into this pain. Later, through closer reflection and feeling, I realized that I had an expectation around how feeling the pain of my soulmate's rejection should look, and since my emotional process wasn't conforming to this, I assumed I was going about it wrong. I have since realized that I'm grieving a lot around my dad's death, and that this is the exact 'deep pain' I need to feel in order to take away that which is blocking me from attracting my mate.
I was just listening to this Assistance Group 1 Personal Feedback Session again (with Joy Harris and Nina Love), and found 49 minutes in to be very helpful (regarding specific sets of feelings that we heterosexual women need to feel in order to release the blocks to attracting our soulmate).
https://youtu.be/W8pFkxUk-JE
Jesus says (at 49 minutes in): "All the sadness you are eventually going to feel is going to be related to your mom and dad and their relationship and particularly
the way the women felt about men and
the way men treated you in your childhood. That's the real sadness you are going to feel if you want to unblock this condition and take away the concrete blocks between you and your soulmate."
So that is what I've been focusing on. I am just beginning to tap into the rage I feel towards men, because that is exactly how my mom felt towards them. Also, I'm noticing myself continuing to release a lot of grief about my dad's rejection of me, including feelings of low worth.