Feeling the pain of Soulmate's Rejection

[LindaM]

thank you Lisa for this thread and to all who have contributed. I am finding it very helpful with lots here for me to reflect upon. thank you for sharing.

[Tara]

Hi Lisa,

Your question of clarification about pain and grief triggered some emotions which I have been starting to work through, thank you for that.

You have asked for more clarification about the pain and grief. Pain exists as a feedback system to tell us when we are not in a place of love and to tell us an area that we need to work on. Grief is felt through crying deeply about an event that has happened. I feel that the best way for you or anyone who wants to know is to take some time and explore the subject on your own. I did not know the difference until I did some experimentation and searching myself. Pray to God and your guides for guidance and LOA events to happen to you, pay attention to the books and movies that come up, and also I have found that certain videos would be on my computer that I had not saved or even thought of watching, everytime I watched a video that appeared out of no where I would learn more truth. Specifically, when it came to the pain I thought I knew what AJ was talking about from the youtube videos and when the event came where I experienced the pain I caused more damage to myself and found out more truth by making a mistake than by just thinking I knew the truth about what pain is. This is why I feel that personal experimentation is so important. It is ok not knowing before you experiment because that is the reason to experiment.

[LisaQ]

Hi Tara,

Thank you for your response; I, too, had gotten triggered by a comment you had made earlier. As a result, in my last note to you (asking for clarification between grief and pain), I was coming from a place of fear. I sensed (or projected) that you were frustrated by my posting the link to the soulmate talk, and I was trying to pander to you, in hopes that you wouldn't be angry with me. This is one of my biggest addictions: trying to avoid women's anger. I apologize for not coming from a place of truth and humility around this.

After I wrote the question (about the difference between grief & pain), I quickly realized that they are very obviously different, yet related. I feel grief is one of a number of painful emotions that is either stored within us or in motion as it is releasing from us.

I mention this because Lisa you mentioned that you have been feeling deep pain and where there is pain love does not exist.

Just to clarify, in my original post I said that I wasn't feeling the deep pain around my soulmate; I was actually having trouble getting into this pain. Later, through closer reflection and feeling, I realized that I had an expectation around how feeling the pain of my soulmate's rejection should look, and since my emotional process wasn't conforming to this, I assumed I was going about it wrong. I have since realized that I'm grieving a lot around my dad's death, and that this is the exact 'deep pain' I need to feel in order to take away that which is blocking me from attracting my mate.

I was just listening to this Assistance Group 1 Personal Feedback Session again (with Joy Harris and Nina Love), and found 49 minutes in to be very helpful (regarding specific sets of feelings that we heterosexual women need to feel in order to release the blocks to attracting our soulmate).
https://youtu.be/W8pFkxUk-JE
Jesus says (at 49 minutes in): "All the sadness you are eventually going to feel is going to be related to your mom and dad and their relationship and particularly the way the women felt about men and the way men treated you in your childhood. That's the real sadness you are going to feel if you want to unblock this condition and take away the concrete blocks between you and your soulmate."

So that is what I've been focusing on. I am just beginning to tap into the rage I feel towards men, because that is exactly how my mom felt towards them. Also, I'm noticing myself continuing to release a lot of grief about my dad's rejection of me, including feelings of low worth.

[Cari M]

Good day, Lisa!

Here is a very recently posted video where AJ speaks about addressing issues around the soulmate issue that you may find helpful as well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z1NaakicIE

Be careful what you ask for (this is a joke...kind of...lol) ....I finally got out of my pride and broke down crying to God and asked to know how my soulmate was. Within less than 2 months, out of nowhere, 800 miles away from where I was living at the time, I have attracted a friend of mine from my childhood back into my life in the past year. Now I want to be clear that I am not to the bottom of it he is my soulmate for a number of reasons. But I do know that as bad as this situation looks and feels, there is good in this. This is an awesome law of attraction event for me! As soon as I saw him, he became the mirror of a good part of my childhood emotional damage. Although I didn't care for his behavior when I encountered him, I looked past it. This encounter was an additional reason that encouraged me to pursue dealing with suppressed emotions. Either which way, if I want to progress, I NEED to feel about all of this.

Because he mirrors a lot of my childhood damage, this made me really have to look at what I accepted as a "ok" childhood. I never considered that my parents really didn't love me, especially my mother and she has been possibly my biggest issue over all these years (and still is) and I didn't understand why I was the target of it all. I didn't understand or know anything about narcissistic personalities and how they and we function in relationships with them and that they really do not love at all to include themselves. I am really having a hard time feeling about that...that there are people that just do not/can not love because their own emotional damage is that extreme.

Also, that we can attract our soulmate into our lives, BUT that it doesn't matter what their state is in. That scares me as well, because this guy that I am talking about has a narcissistic personality as well, so that just exacerbates this issue of drawing more people in my life that don't love me, especially if he turns out to be my soulmate. Which also addresses the feeling of being left alone most of the time in my childhood as well, something else that I need to address. He triggers me in this way, because if he is my soulmate and he is like my mother, yeah.....I think AJ even mentions narcissistic personality in this video...this will be a long road to go.

In another one of AJ's talks about soulmates he says something along the lines of : even a murderer has a soulmate! That really hit home with me that if he is indeed my soulmate, I have to feel about him not loving me and rejecting me...regardless of what I know about him and why he has the injuries that he has (his dad and mine were good friends so I know him well). So when we make an active choice and desire to heal our emotions to attract our soulmates, we need to get past what "we: think we want or what "we" think we need in this relationship. All of our previous programming has us all out of whack. I am so glad that I found Divine Truth when I did, for so many reasons. I had so much going on emotionally going on at once when I did, that I felt that I was on the brink of having some sort of nervous breakdown and honestly I believe that I was as all of this came together with me leaving the military after 26 years. A lot of hugely emotional situations going on all at once...God's Divine Truth was right on time!

So hopefully this video helps some of you as well.

Stay encouraged sisters and brothers and have a great day!

Cari

[LisaQ]

Hi Cari,
Thanks for pointing me to Miranda's feedback session; it was good to listen to it a second time. As I mentioned in an earlier post on this thread, the feedback session with Nina and Joy (also during Assistance Group 1) was also very helpful for me. I could very much relate to the things AJ was saying to all three women.

I completely relate to the (potential) soulmate triggering just about everything from your childhood that you wished to deny; I've found that to be the case with this particular man. I can't believe the level of anger/fear/grief this person stirs up in me, just by being who he is. It's like I think I'm doing well and making progress, then I get around him and EVERYTHING comes up big time.

Happy to report that I'm feeling a lot less demand energy towards my perceived soulmate. As I move through more emotions, I sense and feel him more closely, even though we aren't in any contact outwardly. It seems that the more I progress and clear out the baggage, the more open I become to him. I feel a lot more love and respect for him, and less neediness, especially as I continue to feel the grief of my dad's rejection. Feels so great to be growing!