Processing real emotion?

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Niky
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Processing real emotion?

Post by Niky » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:15 am

Sometimes I can easily start to cry, feel sadness, that I'm not sure what the feeling is all about.
However, there's no feeling fear / shaking first, or letting anger out.
I kind of think I'm supposed to feel anger first, before I can feel fear, before I can feel the causal emotion which is grief?

So my question is.. does this mean I'm just having a tantrum? I don't want to waste time crying on tantrums / facade emotions.

Well I felt some anger, but it was small and unnoticeable. (I'm not alone in the house.) And I felt some fear, but not to the point of shaking. I felt fear and just went straight into crying, sadness.

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Courtney
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Re: Processing real emotion?

Post by Courtney » Sat Dec 26, 2015 11:37 pm

Hi Niky,

My understanding is that we don't always have to go through anger and fear every time before feeling grief. I think it depends on the set of emotions we're denying, how much we're resisting the core emotions, and how many addictions we have related to avoiding them, etc.

There are times where I am able to go right into the sadness without passing through the other emotions first and the grief is more "right under the surface", and other times I need to go through all those other layers and it takes a while longer to get to the grief or core emotion. I had a lot of years before finding the Divine Truth material where I'd let myself cry, but wouldn't let myself feel anger, because I had far less judgment about tears than I did about anger. I also had an intolerance for fear, too, far more so than crying. I think women often are more blocked to anger and fear and less to crying.

I still have resistance to fear, so I'm probably not clear on that part of it enough to advise, but I have worked on the anger resistance a lot, and I think it'd be accurate to share that if you're really never that angry, there's a good chance there are things blocking you still from allowing the anger--maybe judgements, beliefs, fears, etc. The more I go along this path and watch others do it too, I realize that all of us have some anger to work through, at least in regards to certain topics.

On anger and fear, I've found that in periods where I'm thinking, "Hmm, I'm really just not feeling much of those these days", I also start looking at what addictions I'm engaged in that are keeping my anger and fear small, because I know that I'm not in place overall where no anger or fear is part of my soul condition. And then for me, if I've identified some addictions and then taken the action to not go for them and feel what comes up if I don't, usually fear and/or anger are part of bubbles up almost right away.

To determine if I'm just crying because an addiction wasn't met, or going into self-punishment vs. processing something core, I just try to look at my life honestly. After I've cried a lot about a topic, am I feeling and using my will (not willpower) differently in that area of my life? Am I more in alignment with truth and love in that area now? Does it feel notably different than it did before? Is it continuing to be different consistently, over a long period of time and I am not reverting back to the old behavior or old feelings? For me that's how I sometimes determine real processing vs. crying about addictions, and will power vs. will.

I'm definitely still a pre-schooler in these areas of learning and understanding myself but perhaps that might help.

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Eloisa
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Re: Processing real emotion?

Post by Eloisa » Wed Dec 30, 2015 1:44 am

Hi Niky,

I feel that there is a lot of feelings in you about feeling itself and I suggest looking at your blocks and beliefs about feeling your feelings, for yourself. This is going to be individual to you.

I feel you are wanting others to validate your experience and tell you, you are on the right track. I have personally wanted this which is actually an addiction and covers some fears I have about 'doing it wrong', wanting to share my emotions with others and also being just afraid of what I think I am going to feel and other stuff. I am finding that when I allow the feelings to flow it is often a relief just to feel at all.

You say:
I kind of think I'm supposed to feel anger first, before I can feel fear, before I can feel the causal emotion which is grief?
I suggest that you are only going to know if you do it. In fact there is no way you are going to know what the process is until you actually do it and experience it for yourself. So try it out, experiment - pray, feel and then reflect.

It is tempting to get others involved in the process and it is tempting to try and get it 'right', but I feel this just a way to try and get away from various fears __________[insert yours here] and feelings you have.

You say:
So my question is.. does this mean I'm just having a tantrum? I don't want to waste time crying on tantrums / facade emotions.
Again Nicky, unless you feel and experiment you are not going to know for yourself. Often tantrums lead to deeper emotions. A tantrum in the first place is exposing to you there is an issue. Yes it is easy to stay in the tantrum, but I notice when I am honest with myself I can feel the difference and there is no change in my life e.g. when the same situations or a similar one happens I get back into the tantrum EVERY time - this highlights it is a tantrum and I am not feeling deeper.

Part of the process is about getting sensitive to ourselves and how we really feel about everything and feeling it. This requires courage developing the quality of humility and growing a passionate desire to know God's Truth on every matter.

'Anger is your guide' and 'fear is your friend' (titles of Jesus' seminars).

I feel you are wanting others to tell you what to do and where you are at and you are frustrated about 'wasting time on emotions'.

I agree that you need to get sensitive to when you are remaining in a tantrum and when you are in façade/deception emotions, this is really important in order to progress and when we are in denial and don't want to see things we justify these places as 'real feelings'. I have found that growing my sincerity and allowing myself to receive feedback (sometimes from others and sometimes by just observing the Law of Attraction and if it actually changes or not - I had to get more sensitive to this also, smile) I am becoming more aware about when I am in façade and tantrum mode and when I am more genuine (it does feel quite different).

I find that it is vital to 'start where I am at'. Which means whatever the feeling is that I can connect to, connect to it and feel it. I am learning that what I feel is what I feel. Also I have had a limited range of feelings I have 'allowed' and I am having to become more open to just letting whatever I feel be felt. Again this is part of learning to trust God and also discovering my feeling self.

From my understanding every soul is made to be an 100% emotional/feeling being, so it is going to be super important for us to learn to feel all our feelings all of the time no matter what (in a loving manner to both ourselves and others) rather than continuing to stay in our false beliefs and errors about feeling/s.

Courtney has made some suggestions for you also that you may want to experiment with.

My encouragement to begin experimenting. Even with others in the house you can still do this (I used others being around as an excuse to not feel, but have found ways to feel that are not intrusive to others).

All the Best,

Eloisa

All the best in feeling

Niky
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Location: California, USA

Re: Processing real emotion?

Post by Niky » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:11 am

Thank you Courtney, and Thank you Eloisa.

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