My arrogance knows no bounds !

[MikeCollier]

I see it in others, and it is ugly..yet I'm now seeing it in myself, more and more. This continuous patting myself on the back. This cocky facade...
It's the product of low self esteem. The comparing of myself to others, qualitatively. Low self esteem married with competition...
Humility in our western culture is so often seen as a sign of weakness ! Our culture of competition breeds arrogance. Feeds it. Nurtures it. In many circles, even demands it. Walk into a sports bar and you will experience it in full bloom...
Everywhere from the corporate boardrooms to the street gangs, arrogance thrives unchecked. It trickles down into our lives and saturates even the cartoons we feed our children !
It creates disdain and haughtiness and judgement. It creates the bullies of every stripe, breeding fears...of each other.
I struggle with it alot. I use arrogance to cover the very fears that the arrogance and judgement of others causes in me. A cycle of arrogance, competition, and the fear they can cause.
No wonder Humility, along with Divine Love and God's Truth, is one of the big three most important things Jesus
has suggested we ask of God.

[Nicky]

Hi Mike

It is great that you are being more self-reflective and truthful with yourself. I could feel some arrogance from you in your free-will thread that I responded to and also in a few other of your posts across the forum. I feel it is a big area for you to work on. I was going to raise it with you at some point soon. However, after seeing that you created a thread on the exact subject, it felt like the perfect opportunity to share.

I have noticed that you have a tendency in your posts to externalise. What I mean by this is that you use the unloving actions, behaviours and shortcomings of others to make your points. When you do this, I feel you are acting in addiction and arrogance as a way to make yourself feel more superior than those you have described. Here is another post elsewhere on the forum where I can feel this coming from you:

Learning the Truth about God is the best news anyone can ever discover. It's very sad for me that so many have been infected with a sort of immunity against believing God actually has their best interests in mind.

The area of arrogance you have raised is a very important & crucial subject in general. Arrogance is part of the facade and sometimes it is harder to assist someone if they are arrogant because it almost acts as another layer on top of the hurt self and because of it's nature, there is usually a lack of humility as that person will probably feel that "they know best." It is important to remember that anytime we act in arrogance, we are in addiction and are likely to be projecting condescension towards others.

Personally, I have been working on this area for a while now and I've become aware that, for me, it comes from a complete lack of self worth which I guess makes sense and is something that you also eluded to in your post. The hurt child feeling of "never being good enough" comes up a lot. I am finding that it is a mountain of a causal emotion to release.

This is a great thread that you have started up.

Cheers

Nicky

[Amanda Stracey]

Dear Mike and Nicky

I'm really grateful to you both got opening the discussion on arrogance, superiority and externalisation ( something I do a lot) and helping me see it all a bit clearer and actually how nasty, maybe that's too judgmental a word, but the feeling of wanting to put others below myself to get a good feeling.

There's a lot to reflect on already but it pervades every area of life - what I wear, how I talk, where I shop, who I want in my life etc etc etc

Thanks again.

Amanda

[Max]

Thanks for starting this thread Mike,

this is a big stumbling block for me. I find arrogance very seductive because it's so effective in helping me avoid some of my really deep pain (that I'm broken and worthless). It's also been one of my main vulnerabilities for spirit influence and manipulation. I realise that I have often confused feeling arrogant with feeling confident due to how rarely I ever got to experience the feeling of confidence. It's my facades way of experiencing a surrogate confidence by sacrificing everyone else's worth. It's very ugly and I'm ashamed of it.

Max

[MikeCollier]

Yes Nicky I definitely struggle with low self esteem...
I agree with the arrogance you pointed out in my posts.
I was physically and emotionally mishandled as a child,
and it caused big-time rebellion in me. This rebellion was largely unsuccessful, and caused me to loose jobs, and distanced me socially too. It actually isolated me in the extreme sometimes. All this failure, not surprisingly, only furthered my low self esteem. So the rebellion backfired quite miserably.

[Sandina]

Hi Mike and all,

This is quite an old thread but I resonated with it. I, too, have a feeling of arrogance and superiority. And it may be part of why I feel quite isolated from people, like Mike mentions. I feel I may have pushed people away with my arrogant behaviour, or at least kept them at bay because Im projecting this hostility.

I heard Jesus say that we can be superior because of a lack of self worth, or that we were taught we were superior as kids. I guess there could be a mixture too. I've been thinking about my feelings of superiority lately and I attracted an old friend into my life who told me I could be quite mean when we were kids. It sparked some memories of acting superior with other kids. But I also remember being socially bullied, too. I was my mom's "pet" growing up, and she made me feel special at times but withdrew love other times when I didn't behave the way she wanted, and in those times I was told I was a bad kid. So my self image kept flipping back and forth. So I'm still confused as to the cause of my arrogance/feeling superior but I realize its a huge problem.

Sandina