faith that the truth will set you free
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 10:34 pm
I have been listening to and sincerely attempting to act on AJ's truth for almost nine years now. I have to be honest and say that so far the truth hasn't set me free. Far from it!
Currently, the opposite seems true in that now i am very painfully aware of the horrible prison I am in. I now know i am crippled by my emotional injuries and can only have faith that being emotionally aware that I am in hell (the lowest of the 36 known levels of love) is a necessary prelude to healing my injuries and growing in love.
My first such awareness of my real condition came when I emotionally discovered why i have never been good at remembering people's names. If i felt real love for people i would naturally be interested in them and that desire would effortlessly cause me to remember their names and more. I then started to become aware of just how little i care about others at the soul level.
So about all I can do now is settle in for the long haul and perhaps be more gentle, allowing, and natural with myself while cultivating a willingness to put myself out there making mistakes and attempting to be open to the resulting feedback and law of attractions.
I do have an inner feeling that some sort of progress is being made even if it is just digging a whopping big hole that is for the foundations of a building that are still to be poured. Is that real faith? It doesn't feel like a beautiful process from where i am viewing it and so far it hasn't led to any real joy.
Currently, the opposite seems true in that now i am very painfully aware of the horrible prison I am in. I now know i am crippled by my emotional injuries and can only have faith that being emotionally aware that I am in hell (the lowest of the 36 known levels of love) is a necessary prelude to healing my injuries and growing in love.
My first such awareness of my real condition came when I emotionally discovered why i have never been good at remembering people's names. If i felt real love for people i would naturally be interested in them and that desire would effortlessly cause me to remember their names and more. I then started to become aware of just how little i care about others at the soul level.
So about all I can do now is settle in for the long haul and perhaps be more gentle, allowing, and natural with myself while cultivating a willingness to put myself out there making mistakes and attempting to be open to the resulting feedback and law of attractions.
I do have an inner feeling that some sort of progress is being made even if it is just digging a whopping big hole that is for the foundations of a building that are still to be poured. Is that real faith? It doesn't feel like a beautiful process from where i am viewing it and so far it hasn't led to any real joy.