More Important to Connect to God First

[Niky]

This is a question for Nicky, Courtney, Perry, Peter, Mary or anyone who is on The Way.

I went back to the beginning, and for the past 2 weeks have been working on the How I Feel About Love and God part of the Developing My Will to Love. I've put aside the work that I've started while attending the Developing My Loving Self (which is about deconstruction of self, right?), as I understand that it's more important to connect to God first. Am I understanding this correctly? Or is this a simultaneous thing? Doesn't working on connecting with God involve some deconstruction of self too? Am I making this more complicated than it is? I'm thinking I need to actually involve all the other parts of Developing My Will to Love: Facing my resistance to truth, faith, action, emotion... Instead of just staying in the first part until I make a connection with God.

Niky

[Courtney]

Hey Niky,

Absolutely every aspect of soul-based work you can do on the divine love path is easier and faster with God, and it is far more guided--you don't have to do so much guessing and intellectualizing because you're allowing God to assist and getting feedback through that relationship. I don't feel there's a chronological order to things in the way you're implying, but rather a soul-based priority system. So, connecting with God should always be the first priority, and involved in that is going to be examining why we're not and working through the blocks to doing so. In your position, I'd be asking myself, why am I not connecting with God while in this process of the work from Developing My Loving Self? Why am I seeing them as relatively separate processes?

It's easy to tell ourselves we need to do this and that and the other thing before connecting to God, but that can be an excuse to just not start The Great Experiment with God. This old but absolutely gold blog from Mary has helped me immensely, and perhaps may help you as well in any feelings of needing to be farther along or better developed before being able to have a relationship with God:

https://mary.divinetruth.com/2011/03/10 ... heart-god/

I also thought I'd add that I have the feeling you're still wanting others to validate things for you before you just go ahead and try things for yourself, and I feel like some of the things Eloisa said in response to one of your posts back in December are still relevant to this post too:

viewtopic.php?f=42&t=698

Courtney

[Niky]

Hi Courtney, thanks for the reply. That makes sense to go on to the next thing and involve God anyway. I felt some things after I posted that (some old feelings that occasionally pop up), then felt silly. I decided to continue on with the next topic, and to work through it all simultaneously anyway. At first, I wasn't. Ah, the validation thing - I'll try to be aware that one. Thanks for the links.

[Nicky]

Hi Niky

I think what you asked is a good question.

The sense I get from you is panic, due to a resistance internally (blocks) within yourself in not wanting to feel into some of the fears you have predominantly about the emotional process rather than any specific addictive type of emotion as such.

It can be quite easy to over-intellectualise the feeling process and as a result, takes you away from some fears.

As an example, what I did was first identify what some of my blocks were to feeling my emotions (predominantly blocking me to fear and/or sadness) such as lets say:

- Why should I feel my emotions? I don't want to feel my emotions (more of an angry type of emotion initially)
- The emotions are "too big" for me and I won't be able to handle them
- I will go crazy if I go into my emotion
- The emotions will never end once I start allowing them

All of these types of emotions are relating to growing all 4 areas of developing our will to love, not just the "emotion" element which I find pretty cool. They are all so closely linked to one another.

By the way for all of these, you will actually have to feel them genuinely from your heart rather than intellectually saying "Oh yeah, I have that" and then trying to skip over them - which I have noticed you have a tendency of doing. Here is a great Divine Truth Clip video (8 mins long) where Jesus explains this process:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlM6IJwXS0g

If you let yourself go through that process you will be able to get into some of your fears such as getting it "wrong" and making mistakes (which drives your panic-y and confused state) about what you feel you should work on.

I think Mary's post in the thread below will really be able to assist you:

viewtopic.php?f=21&t=1051

One thing to remember is that every time we connect with God, it will always be intensely (overwhelmingly) emotional. When we have these blocks to allowing the full flow of the emotion, we will not truly desire to connect with God. I'd suggest focusing on these blocks first and once you get into some genuine fear and/or sadness, you will definitely be more open & able to receive God's Love if you ask for it in this space.

I have been working and still am on some of my own blocks to feeling fear recently so I hope that what I have shared can be of benefit to you.

Cheers
Nicky

[Niky]

Hi Nicky,

I did feel a bit of panic and confusion. Thank you for the suggestions, I will try them.

I just now thought to copy and paste all of my feedbacks into one word document, including the stuff by Mary that you both sent me, so I don't have to go looking later on.

Niky