Fear of women's anger

An illusion yet feels so real
User avatar
Alkhemst
Community Member
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:18 am
Location: Sydney
Contact:

Fear of women's anger

Post by Alkhemst » Mon Sep 21, 2015 12:12 am

It's hard to ignore this one for me, I tend to try and minimise it but the attractions are playing out on many fronts of my life right now, so whether I like it or not there's no denying I'm in denial and resistance to truth with avoiding women's anger.

It's a current theme in my marriage, and every time I get on forums there's this similar pattern too.

Here:
viewtopic.php?f=16&t=282

And here:
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=291

I notice this pattern:

1) I believe I see in a woman something unethical.
2) I decide to tell them
3) I tread on egg shells while I deliver what I reckon is "truth" to avoid feeling anger from them
4) they get angry
5) they look for some issue with me as to redirect and blame me instead
6) I try to readress my original meaning and avoid bringing up what they did in the previous point (which is unethical towards me). I tread lightly again - still avoiding
7) they appear to take ownership of some of the original issues I mentioned at point 1, but not really. Seems to me to be more about keeping a facade and manipulating the situation (others and me) to keep the heat of them.
8) I withdraw, don't address the original issue or all the subsequent unlovingness toward me either. I know its there with them still but say nothing. I hold it in and I get more resentful.

This is an avoidance for me, getting an addiction met by avoiding which is a strong theme through my life and relationships with women. It's also somewhat of a facade, because I project this mask of someone who stands for ethics, but truth is as above I don't when I'm in the addiction. I suppose this would mean a strike for me ordinarily but I guess there may be some reasons Nicky for not. If you feel it should be now, I'm good with that. I'm here to learn after all.

What's interesting is if not for Nicky and Mary bringing this up here, I'd let it slide. Which is what I generally do in life. For me writing this stuff is a good form of reflection and I figure it may be useful for others so I'm posting it in case it is. Any feedback where you guys reckon I've not got this assessment right, happy to hear about it.

Thanks, David

User avatar
Alkhemst
Community Member
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:18 am
Location: Sydney
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Alkhemst » Mon Sep 21, 2015 4:40 am

Just one more thing, in the interest of transparency, AJ has addressed these issues with me previously and recently too, so a lot of these reflections are also based on what he said to me. Also, he wanted to do so on video at the assistance group, which might have helped more people in a similar situation, but in the end, I refused to do that and went home earlier than I planned.

User avatar
Nicky
Site Admin
Posts: 716
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 5:07 pm
Location: London, England
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Nicky » Mon Sep 21, 2015 5:39 am

Hi David

I feel it is a good idea of making a thread on this subject actually as I believe a number of the men here have this injury towards women and a number of the women here have this anger with men (and thus the co-dependancy).

Just like you, I have the same injury and this has been probably my biggest one and my attractions at the assistance group last year and also in the first week of the forums going live showed this to be the case so I feel as though I could offer you some assistance in this area by sharing some of the stuff that I've started to work on.

I've been tackling this area of my life full on since the forums have been live as I've literally had no other choice otherwise the forum would have been ruined and in the control of a number of women who have registered and the angry women spirits with them. The attraction that brings them together is the anger and rage that they share with men (where both groups feel the anger and rage is completely justified when of course it is not and just them using it as a tool to avoid their own fears and grief). Of course, we attract these women because they feel as though they can get away with this behaviour.

Firstly, yes it is an addiction. Because of this addiction you are totally open to receiving anger and rage from women and accepting it - the chances are that due to your openness, your are probably receiving some attack from a bunch of angry women spirits too every now and again.

What really helped me was seeing this addiction as a SIN from God's perspective. For example, if you think about it, constantly placating an angry woman is damaging as it just reinforces their anger making them feel that they can get whatever they want if they get in a rage without challenging them at an emotional level. I actually ended up with a decent sized list of reasons that showed me that my behaviour and role in this co-dependancy was a definite SIN. However, I feel it will be more powerful for you to engage in this activity rather than me listing more of them.

This was a big theme in my relationship with my ex girlfriend and once I started standing up for truth, things escalated quickly and it led to us breaking up showing me that what we had was in fact a co-dependant addictive relationship. I was extremely unhappy in the relationship for the last 2 years of it and I had a number of fears that kept me locked up in that space and was effectively torturing myself - which was self inflicted actually due to me not wanting to feel the underlying grief I had with women in this area of my life.

Im not saying here that you and your wife aren't soul-mates by the way David! Im just trying to help you with your addiction that will bring some more clarity to you should you choose to tackle it.

There is actually an awesome video on this in the Australian Assistance Group 2 series of videos where Jesus 'goes to town' on this topic. Here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3qsA7tCID4

I still have some way to go with this injury personally but feel as though I've made some big strides. I've actually just recently come off the back of a spirit attack from a large group of angry women that decided to attack me the moment I landed when I went away on holiday (to try and ruin my trip) due to the disciplinary action I have been taking on the forums with a number of the women. Of course this still shows me I have the injury, I guess now the difference Is that I'm standing up for truth with such women nowadays rather than letting them get away with "murder."

I've realised that I have a ton of grief inside me about this and it was the cause of a lot of pain in my life (which I feel you have been experiencing too). I've also realised that God has been trying to show me this for quite some time as the main reason for my unhappiness. Of course God doesn't want that for any of us and wants to give everyone her Love so much but it is up to us all to exercise our will to love first.

Hope that helps buddy.

Nicky

User avatar
Alkhemst
Community Member
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:18 am
Location: Sydney
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Alkhemst » Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:14 am

Definately helps Nicky, thanks again!

Just quickly, I found this article very apt for people like myself that developed co-dependent relationships. This one focuses on the criticism and the one being criticised dynamic in relationships:Sorry I didn't want to say out loud I'm just going to go.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/an ... lationship

User avatar
Alkhemst
Community Member
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:18 am
Location: Sydney
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Alkhemst » Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:16 am

Disregard that bit before the link, copied from an SMS and a bit of text before got left in.

User avatar
Courtney
Community Member
Posts: 90
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:11 pm
Location: Salt Lake City USA
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Courtney » Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:23 am

Thanks for both of your sharing on this thread, David and Nicky. I have a lot of fear of women's anger and issues with placating them also. I've been grateful for the reflection of that in this forum; it started a snowball of perhaps the biggest thing I've been focusing on since then. Mainly for me it is about seeing how it is a sin, as you pointed out Nicky. Jesus generously emailed me recently with the following truth and I thought I'd share it on this thread in case it helps either of you or anyone else on the forum:

"Let yourself examine why you need the approval and acceptance of women who desire power and control over others. This gives them power over your life, and therefore power over your thoughts and actions, and their poor spiritual condition is also imposed upon you, which means that you do the bidding of people who are in a darker condition than yourself, thereby darkening your own condition spiritually.

Remember that besides receiving God's Love, a person who wishes to become at-one with God also needs to learn the lessons of Natural Love, which includes having God's understanding of ethics and morality. Wanting the approval and acceptance of people who desire power and control is not ethical or moral, and is driven by deep fears of attack from others and self-judgement. In your own case it also supports a woman's immoral desire for power over others (including power over yourself), and you are naturally attracted to these kinds of women by your fear and self-judgement.

If you can recognize your fear of attack from women, and what that makes you feel, and also your own tendency towards self-judgement, and who has judged you in the past to make you feel poorly about yourself, then you will go along way towards receiving more of God's Love, along with having a life that does not attract destructive women into your life."

I have always felt being this way is nice and standing up strongly to people is mean and awful, and so educating myself about how I am sinning--and immoral and unethical--when I placate and have fear feels like the very first thing I have to do to move forward. I am only just starting to see the implications and gravity of how destructive it is to SO many parties and the ripple effect of damage it does when I seek approval from women and placate them, even to people who aren't "in the room" when the addictive exchange occurs between me and them. And of course there has to be just a huge iceberg of denied emotion underneath this addiction.

User avatar
Alkhemst
Community Member
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:18 am
Location: Sydney
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Alkhemst » Wed Sep 23, 2015 9:03 am

Last few days I've made more of concerted effort to at least be firm on what I feel to be true. I'm still afraid of doing this, but felt somewhat less so, perhaps after some emotions felt, but irrespective I noticed something important for me to recognise that was demonstrated in reality (not just in theory) in my life. That the results I imagined would occur if I took actions that in fear I'd seek to avoid, didn't occur. What was also interesting has been that my intention to do live more in truth and less in fear, and acting on it, brought support from others I never expected. So while I believed that making these changes would make me feel more isolated and more alone, they made me feel more connected, more empowered and less alone. Basically at all fronts of my life last few days I was facing very challenging situations, more than I'm used to, both at work and at home and I decided to just stay in truth. The fear is clearly a false expectation appearing real. Anyway, still early days for me.

User avatar
Pierrejoseph
Community Member
Posts: 81
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 8:08 am
Location: New Caledonia
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Pierrejoseph » Wed Sep 23, 2015 9:24 am

Thank you guys for sharing, Useful and inspiring. I am completely in a similar situation of fear and attack and angry women, but I add another addiction to the list on the top of placating women who wants control over me, I am also needy of their approval and validation at the same time. And these days, I start to see intellectually it as a SIN. It feels yuk when I feel needy during the day and it happens very often. And needy people feels yuk to me as well.

I experience as well to chose to stand up to rageful spirits attacking me when i am in self judgment, like feeling terrible as a man etc... I observe that by standing up, their attack stops and it helps me to connect to my fears behind. I also try to not follow my fear and challenge my neediness in daily situations and see what happens. Work in progress.

The links you posted above are very helpful in that process. I realize that I did not get it at the AG, but yesterday finally it entered me at least intellectually and hopefully I will engage it further in the coming days in life situations with people as well as spirits. The real process can finally start.

User avatar
Nicky
Site Admin
Posts: 716
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 5:07 pm
Location: London, England
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Nicky » Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:20 pm

Hi Pierre
I am also needy of their approval and validation at the same time. And these days, I start to see intellectually it as a SIN. It feels yuk when I feel needy during the day and it happens very often.
With regards to the above, yes this is one of the addictions in us which allows the co-dependancy to occur. it is all about seeing our addictions as a SIN - it is so important to do this!

As a note guys, I've felt this subject area to be more appropriate to the "Fear & Terror" forum category so I have moved it there.

Cheers

Nicky

User avatar
Alkhemst
Community Member
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:18 am
Location: Sydney
Contact:

Re: Fear of women's anger

Post by Alkhemst » Thu Sep 24, 2015 2:30 am

Had some reflections on sin I'd like to share. It's certainly confronting...

- When I seek validation outside me I'm not loving myself

- I hurt myself by honouring the undermining views about myself

- I elevate others above me which can feed their addictions with the intent to use their emotional vulnerabilities for my own gain

- I emotionally demand or beg for validation attempting to take or steal from others a feeling of approval for me

- I don't care for others or their needs in this state, I don't attempt to love them at all

- I hurt myself further by giving time and energy to pursuing something that doesn't nourish me but pushes myself down

- I do it despite the pain that ensures, so it is an infliction of abuse on myself

- When I'm not seeking to nourish others, I abuse their time and energy in our interactions, which is an abuse on them, especially if they meet my addictions, then I'm willing to abuse them on an ongoing basis, while abusing myself

- When I elevate others above myself I'm not honouring God's view of me at all, I'm placing God's view beneath others views, and then mine. So I'm not honouring God at all I'm actively in fact debasing God

- When in addiction the whole world is filtered through the narrowest view of whatever can meet my need, I debase all of God's creation and make my addiction the highest authority

- In this state I add to debasing the condition of mankind and add to the negative attractions and effects that are experienced by everyone in some way shape or form.

- I'm also not honouring God's laws and the spiritual growth in love at the foundation of it all, so I attempt to hold back that growth for myself and others.

- While debasing God and her laws, I debase the capacity that God has created in myself and others to grow and thrive, in favour of regression and spiritual poverty.

- I refuse gifts ongoingly from God and others because they don't meet my addictions, so I'm not loving them or God or honouring their desire to give purely to me.

- I'm not honouring either my own capacity to be humble, to feel and be able to accept pure gifts from others graciously.

- I'm not either able to be fully sincere with thanking others or being sincerly sorry where I've hurt others, or be sincerely forgiving where I've been hurt by them, all these things are of no consequence while seeking to feed my addictions for approval. So such actions are without substance and become more about manipulation of myself and others.

- From this state I can't give, I'm in the need of taking, or feeding, coming from a place of no trust for my own ability to serve and assist others in a pure way. I'm not able to give to myself that sense of joy that ensures when I can truly be of service.

- When I allow attack on me because I feel deserving of it, because I'm afraid I'll lose the ability to be approved by them, I hurt myself.

- When I'm not firm with others who would attack my vulnerabilities, or emotional holes, I buy into their addictions and validate their behaviour, which leads not only to myself being hurt more but others who would be attacked too.

- Allowing the attack of myself contributes to the attack of others and the overall justification of fear on the planet. This is another way of raising fear as mine and others authority and placing God beneath it all.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest