Blame, abuse and excuses

[Eva]

I wanted to write about blame, which is one of my very dark techniques or methods to avoid my own stuff. I have been using blame as a way to avoid my own responsibility and pain, and am an expert when it comes to justifying why "it's your fault". I was just listening to Jesus and Mary discussing the reasons for shaming or hurting another person.
Jesus speaks about the willingness with this behaviour, to abuse another person in order to avoid your own pain.
Suddenly I felt that this is spot on, this was what I was doing last night in a discussion with my man about my fear of intimacy. I wanted him to analyse his emotions about what was going on and I was telling him this with kind of a holiness around me.
Then Jesus says something on this video that strikes me, at least intellectually (10 min):
"The cause for abusing others is an internal belief that we have the right to harm other people as a method of avoiding our own pain."
I felt that this is the Truth.
Now, suddenly I don't know what more to write just now, - sorry if it comes out a bit short.

Here is a link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHthWrmafNI
On audio it is 20140416 FAQ Emotions S01Q07

[LauraR]

Hello Eva,
I blame as well - it is like my default. I get fearful and immediately start blaming. This behavior only recently came to my awareness as my desire to feel my emotions grows. Most of my blame is done in my own head - I don't speak the words out loud and until reading your post about what AJ said I never gave a second thought that I might be hurting someone else. But as I am beginning to understand emotional projections - I am hurting others (even if I never open my mouth). Thank you for sharing and I am going to listen to the video you posted.
Love to you - Laura

[Allegedly Dom]

Like Laura says about beginning to understand emotional projections; that we are hurting others (even if we never open our mouths). - This has been one of the hardest things to come to terms with in my progression, and I'm definitely noticing I have been doing this a lot. Silent judging as well without any body-language/facial reactions even. Like "poker-face" judgement/projection. I usually intellectually justify the fact that this is what I'm doing by saying to myself things such as "You're just making an obvious observation. They've obviously had a terrible childhood (and I feel sorry for them) to crave attention in such and such way." etc. Which may be true, but it is still a judgement. It's hard to imagine being in such a pristine state of love where you wouldn't even have any of this intellectual justification or projection/judgement going on in our heads effortlessly.

Great video btw Eva, and thank you both for sharing!