Reflections on the gifts which have been offered to me

[Lena]

Hi guys,

I have been so busy and emotionally overwhelmed this year that I have not had any time to visit the forum and gift my commitment to it as I promised I would, so I have asked Nicky to reverse my forum status from moderator to a user, so people do not assume that I am still part of the moderating team.

I thought I would write a little about my appreciation for my experiences on this forum as well as amazing gifts I have been given.

I felt to expand a little about the gifts I have been offered in my life now for a number of years and on this forum since I have joined up. Since these gifts are interrelated, I will write about them all.

I have joined the forum with a slight feeling of anxiety when I read the awesome terms of use written by Nicky.

Not sure if many can relate to the feeling, I felt that the standard of love Nicky was aiming for on this forum was higher then what I personally had in my heart (not in my head) at that time in my life.

I can see now that back then I have quickly adopted intellectually to the idea of having a high standard of love, as I have frequented the forum, but emotionally I was confronted every time I have made a post.

Every one of those confrontations indicated every area I needed to go back to within myself, and work out what was out of harmony with God's Truth and Love inside of me and feel if I wanted to correct that or not. (Still working on them by they way)
And every time that happened I had an enormous support from the admin, DT teachers and co-moderators, exposing to me the blind spots and areas where I was completely clueless of my emotional state on the issue.

Having a little time spent as a moderator, also brought up some strong emotions within myself.
Different situations were about different emotions, but there is one that I thought was worth sharing about with you.

It was a feeling about my sincerity. Ever time I have posted about anything to anyone, I had the feeling inside which felt like a conflict, like I am not being honest.
I couldn’t pinpoint what I was not honest about, as it felt to me at the time that I was honest to that person.
I can see now, that the feeling was more about of not being honest with myself, about not doing myself what I was recommending to another person to do. So I have really learnt that it is hypocritical to advice things to a person, which I myself have not committed to live by and honour in every situation of my life.
Hypocrisy is very damaging to ourselves and others. For myself, being hypocritical was damaging because it meant I was supporting a facade, which is so damaging to have. It is damaging to my true self and damaging to others who interact with that facade.

I am so grateful that I have spent my last 10 months on praying about purifying my desire for God and my sincerity.
Looking very honestly at the level of my sincerity.
I still have so much work in this area and I have some very important decisions to make about living in Truth and what it means for me emotionally, passion-ately, socially, physically, financially….
However I am very happy when I realise that I have grown enough to see that a lot more sincerity is needed on my part to succeed in my relationship with God. And a funny thing, I am sure, I will be saying that for some time to come, as I realise that when ever I grow in my sincerity there will be more room to grow still until I am completely in agreement on everything with God.

I have had a lot of support since I have heard of Divine Truth the first time, all aimed to help me grow my own true and sincere desire to connect to God.
I can say that I had no desire to start of with. Not sure how it all came into play with me hearing about Divine Truth while having no desire, as I still do not understand these things myself.

This support came in many forms as gifts offered generously to me. I have to admit that I often forget that they are gifts and are very precious, powerful and rare on this planet. So I would like to express my appreciation for them.

I would like to list a some of these powerful gifts they are not in any particular order:

A gift of truthful and powerful information - material delivered by Jesus and Mary. I have full access to this information free available at any time and to any old or new material that is produced. We all do, but sometimes, I am sure, just like me, you may also not see the gift that it is and the power it can have if the knowledge is understood correctly and applied in life.


Another gift I see in the material which I also feel like I might have taken for granted at times, is the thing I will try to explain to my best ability.
You know how often we read something and there are specks of truth which, when I read, can recognise it as truth only because I have heard that truth from a reliable source of Divine Truth material, but you have to filter that truth from the information that is full of debris of false emotional beliefs, addictions and statements and errors that have been supported on the planet for very long time. Or the fact that we may not be able to recognise that the information shared with us is not truthful, and we do not recognise that because we share the same false beliefs with the author and there is a real danger in that.

I do not have to do that - filter information, when I listen to Divine Truth material, and this is what I feel should not be taken for granted. We can just relax and concentrate on the information and our emotional response to it, rather than be subjected to information which may be supporting our false beliefs further and therefore helps us to stay stagnant for longer or even worse degrade in our condition and happiness.


The material is not only reliable and full of truthful facts, which have been confirmed by Jesus through his relationship with God and Mary who is establishing her relationship wth God right in front of our eyes using all of the information we have been gifted with as well.
We all know that eventually we need our own proof and Jesus & Mary have taught us and encouraged tirelessly to find it all out for ourselves through our relationship with God.
It is such a rare gift that I have not received ever before, when it is provided only for my own benefit, and not for the benefit of the giver. I personally have never heard anyone disclose any type of information purely for the benefit of people’s welfare.


A gift of observing Jesus & Mary publicly and privately, who live their lives striving for perfection in love and have their number one priority - a relationship with God. This is such a powerful way to effect so many people. It is effecting me deeply.
They so passionately demonstrate their growing desire for God and to only love God's Way, it is hard to ignore even if I tried to, it is so rare!
Their desire for God is so different to anything I have seen in other people (even the ones who claim to be deeply spiritual) and so precious in its purity, it teaches me a lot about God’s qualities and how I can and need to be with God myself, if I want to be connected to God - the real deal.


A gift God is giving me directly of his support and encouragement. Oh just how often through out the day I want to choose to ignore this gift and forget that I know that I have felt it, while I am throwing my tantrums and angry remarks. This is obviously an issue in itself for me to resolve, as Jesus and Mary stress out in their material to seriously look at why we choose to deny our experiences and deny development of our faith through actions and experiences.
I am starting to put 2 & 2 together, how the gifts given to me from Jesus & Mary have helped me recognise some of the gifts God has for me if I am open to God. And now that I am choosing to recognise these gifts, this gives me so much faith to continue with my development. To be honest I can see just how closed off I am to God still and missing out on greater opportunities right now. I recon recognising this is very important for anyone who is seriously desiring God.


A gift of observing other people who also inspire me through their actions, I especially would like to mention Nicky, Tristan and Eloisa who are embracing what they learn and put it into their own experiment with God. I love that and I strive for the same courage and sincerity in myself.


A gift of Nicky’s desire to share about his passion for God, I feel is very beautiful, and while this forum is hard to maintain to the pure standard of how God would love, I do appreciate his desire to attempt at it. I love seeing that he has embraced what he has learnt from Jesus and Mary, and has put it into practice with God. I do share an excitement with Nicky about having a ‘social’ space for people to explore teachings of Divine Truth and ask questions in a casual environment. It is a gift that is precious to anyone who may feel at times isolated in their passion for God.


Also I feel that for majority of people on here, this forum may have been the first time they have ever observed what it may look like to own up to your addictions, your emotions, and what it may look like to live God’s Truth in their private lives, which is very different to just listen to the material from Jesus and Mary and choose to interpret it in what ever way we feel like.


I have not been on the forum for some time now, due to being busy with projects for Divine Truth and my own personal emotional work (which is basically all about addressing my resistance and lack of sincerity on many key issues which I tell myself that I want to address but have not been successful with)

So I have not been following any threads or discussions, but from a quick look (which is obviously not accurate enough) but mainly from my previous experience earlier in a year with a forum, I do feel, that many people on the forum do not use this gift for its purpose.
And many people still seek to avoid their responsibility for their emotions and their relationship with God through their addictive engagement here.
I see that the forum can be of huge benefit if used with love and care.

Having had a very little time as a moderator, I can share with you though, that it takes Nicky and who ever is helping him (many time it is Mary and Jesus) a long time to address any of the unloving behaviours that go on here. It is one thing when person is new and is unaware, but it is another, when we have been told many times about the issue and yet we still choose to overlook the seriousness of having an addiction at play with another person. Our reluctance to be responsible does often cost other people time to correct.

I guess what I am trying to say, which is just my own option, that if people take for granted the gift and choose to abuse it for their own emotional addictions, the gift may not be offered for long time after, as it would be no longer a gift of love but would become the means of supporting addictions in others. So I would encourage people take a grater care, whenever you feel drawn back to engage with somebody on here.
I know my experiences over the time, I have acted out on this feeling of being drawn into a discussion and it was unloving and it created a big mess to resolve by me or somebody else and it was all based on addiction (a desire to avoid some kind of other feeling)

It is different when we feel kind, and patient and loving and have something to share on the subject, there is usually no pull associated with this more pure feeling. The pull I am talking about here, is a feeling like you really want/need to engage and have a say and you do not want to let go or to forget about it (you know that feeling? smile)


I could say a bit more about the impact these gifts have already had on my life, but this post is more about the forum and the gifts from Jesus and Mary, and it is probably already a bit too long to read.
So I just wanted to share about some of the things I am growing to be very grateful for and appreciative for have been gifted, and how they are impacting my life hugely. And I know all of you who are reading have been gifted with the same gifts so I am hopeful that you too recognise them and I am also very excited for you as I am starting to be for myself.


with love,
Lena

[Mary]

Lena girl, whenever you speak from your heart you always move me. Thank you for sharing yourself.

I can hardly wait to see, hear and feel the real Lena more. The bits I already see peeking out are wise, considered and powerful. I love you.

Mary

[Nicky]

Hi Lena

Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed reading your post.

I would like to thank you so much for the gift you gave to myself and everyone else on the forum for the time you spent as a moderator and your desire in wanting to help make the forum a loving place. I really enjoyed getting to know you more through "working" together with you on a project!

I would just like to pick up on what you said and add my own gratitude to Mary & Jesus for their awesome support to myself, Lena & Eloisa starting from even before the forum went live and right the way through to this point. Many people have probably not thought about just how much these guys have on their plate (Jesus/Mary, Lena and Eloisa in terms of their own projects/personal emotions) and the amount of time Jesus, and particularly Mary (through writing emails/posts and a number of audio files!) have spent offering the forum "staff" their guidance and wisdom consistently over the past year of the forum being live to help us make the forum a "better" place for others. It really is the best example and demonstration that any of us could probably wish to see of what it looks like to purely offer gifts to love others without having any emotional investments in what we "may" receive in return.

I wish you all the best with the current stuff you have going on Lena.

Love
Nicky