keeping a doubt about God's existence

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Pierrejoseph
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keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by Pierrejoseph » Sat Jan 30, 2016 11:19 am

Hi,

since I discovered the DT teachings in 2011, I have had 10th of connections with God, sometimes with my spirit guides and most of the time with other spirits as my daily life goes on. When I feel a strong and pure desire for God's Love or Truth about a certain topic I am emotionally opened about, I always get an emotionally overwhelming and loving response as I feel the error in my soul and pray for God's help and love in the process. I even got the truth from God through my guide about the identity of Jesus and the truth about his teachings. But still, despite these many personal experiences, I have cannot put God in the "I know for sure" column, and there is still a doubt about His very existence. I have very low self worth and value other people opinions over mine, and so in periods of being emotionally blocked, doubt popped up again about the reality of God being my own invention and everything else I experienced as truth (with spirit's support of course). What is my addiction to keep in that doubt and how to deal with this doubt? I feel strangely that putting God in the "I know for sure" column would mean my death sentence in some way, meaning among everything else being fully disapproved by my family/spirits/the word. Is that to do with my addiction to approval? Thanks for your help. I cannot build faith on a foundation of sugar (almost absence of self worth). I have been already feeling some of my lack of worth at meany occasion and God truth on the subject but it seems not enough. I feel my fear of rejection, disapproval, attack, anger, condescension might be a major block and I am praying for weeks now to feel the sin of my demands/placating people. Thanks for your help.

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maureen
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Re: keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by maureen » Sat Jan 30, 2016 5:46 pm

Hi Pierre,

I have a similar fear of bonding with God. I can feel for me it is terror of bonding overall...especially because of the negative experiences I had when I needed to bond with my mother and father and it went so badly for me as a child.

So, I'm praying to God to help me trust that bonding with him/her will be different and could be a good experience...which is helping me to see more truth about how different what my parents did to me in my vulnerability is from what God would have wanted them to do.

Which is opening me up more to risk wanting to bond with God.

Love,
Maureen

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Re: keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by LisaQ » Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:33 pm

Hi Pierre,

I had a few thoughts come to mind when reading your post. These may or may not be helpful or correct, but here it goes!

1. One idea is to try sitting down and getting into the absolutely most sincere/humble place you can (asking for God & guides' help), then asking God to show you what in yourself blocks you from fully trusting in God's existence. And then allowing whatever emotion or truth arises to be shown to you. I often pray to be shown the very next layer that is blocking me from fully receiving truth, and also pray for the courage to be humble and feel through this layer. I find that this often helps me pass through other layers fairly rapidly, where I get to some real truths about the situation.

2. It feels quite possible that spirits are hooking into you, to attempt to manipulate your perceptions about God and to weaken this connection in any way they can. You mention a number of areas where you have error, and any one of these false perceptions could be their hook or it also may be something different from each of these. It may be that they are just threatening you with violence and attack each time you feel God as a sure, real being. It's likely that they want to keep you in a place of doubt, because that way they can continue to control you and keep your world (and connection with God) feeling as if it's built upon a foundation of sugar.

3. I'd be curious to really go into the 'death sentence' feeling that you mention, if you no longer doubted God's existence. What specific fears are here? How might this connect with fear of spirit attack? I'd be apt to write a list about all the specific fears that exist surrounding this 'death sentence' feeling.

I sincerely hope that something here may be of assistance to you! I can feel your sincerity in wanting to move through this block.

With love,
Lisa

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Pierrejoseph
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Re: keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by Pierrejoseph » Sun Jan 31, 2016 3:57 am

Hi Walter,

have you read the forum terms of use? Because You are breaching some loving rules of the forum. Better to read them first if you want to keep contributing and hopefully benefiting from it.

Cheers,
Pierre

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Eloisa
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Re: keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by Eloisa » Sun Jan 31, 2016 6:28 am

Hi Walter

As Pierre has asked, have you read the terms of use of the forum?

Link to the terms of use below:

http://www.divinetruthhub.com/wp-conten ... ument4.pdf

You are currently in breach of posting content not in harmony with divine truth. What you say is not God's truth but your statements are made as if what you are saying is 'true'.

It feels like you are angry at God.

There is a difference in questioning, discussing your feelings honestly, openly, transparently and seeking the truth on matters, and in contrast supporting error with firmly held false beliefs.

I cannot agree with your comments about keeping doubt and skepticism, you need to let these go in order to progress in a real way. I don't feel skepticism is 'healthy', yes you need to feel the feelings, but not hold onto them. It is important to be honest about how we feel about God and if we don't have any faith or belief in God we need to be honest about this too.

Once we are honest there is a great opportunity to experiment to find out the truth about God. Unfortunately if we don't feel through the 'blocks' and false beliefs it is highly unlikely we will experiment to find out the truth because we have already 'decided' on what we believe. I don't feel skepticism and a seeking heart can exist at the same time.

There is a difference in being truthful about how we feel and making firm statements as 'truth's'. You contradict yourself and I feel the last line is facade and the first lines are your real feelings. It would be better to be honest about your feelings rather than making statements that you don't know to be true.

All the best Walter,

Eloisa

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Eloisa
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Re: keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by Eloisa » Sun Jan 31, 2016 6:42 am

Hi Pierre

If you have had really awesome experiences with God, loving spirits and your guide, why do you want to continue to doubt these?
There has to be a reason hey! (you suggest there is to yourself)

The loving experiences are faith builders and yet I notice that we often want to dismiss these and hold onto all the negative things that happen rather than hold firm to all the gifts we are given.

When I hear people in spirit or people on Earth who have had real experiences with God there is no doubt in their hearts. They are firm and certain. The recent channellings Jesus and Mary did are great demonstrations of these (dated 20160114)

link below:

https://www.youtube.com/user/WizardShak ... y=20160114

So it makes me question weather you have been getting impressions from spirits? OR if there is some reason you want to hold onto so badly in order to not embrace your own experiences?

I know when I have experienced something myself, I know for certain about it. Like harming our kids by raging at them, I KNOW that is wrong and it doesn't matter what someone tells me I know it is wrong now, I haven't repented it yet, but I know it is wrong and there is no doubt.

I feel if you explore the answers you suggested to yourself about your addictions you might find some answers.
I don't know what your addictions are, but I thought you gave yourself a good starting point to begin experimenting and exploring.

Hope it goes well,

Eloisa

PS I know Jesus has done some great talks on doubt, cant remember which ones at this time sorry.

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Pierrejoseph
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Re: keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by Pierrejoseph » Sun Jan 31, 2016 8:12 am

Thank you for your contributions Eloisa, Lisa and Maureen, they have been very helpful to me to investigate further. Thanks to your help, and every little bit of what you shared has been really helpful on, really. I also noticed there was an older similar topic under "Faith" from Arvana and that helped me too. So maybe this conversation should be moved to Faith too?

I notice the major problem is that putting my faith in God and God's truth would mean the end of my addictive relationships with my spirit friends, and we both don't want it for the moment. I feel they are 2 groups of spirits I attracted around me, one, women who want to dominate/hurt men, want to keep controlling/abusing me (I give control of my life to them) when they feed my addiction not to attack me and to approve me sexually/validate me, and the other group, men, so scared of feeling their fears and sadness about abuse from women in their life. So what happens, is when I get an deep heartfelt connection with God that build my faith in the reality of His existence, they then fear losing the hooks into me, and then, as soon as I get emotionally blocked, they start putting thoughts of doubts and self judgement about the reality of my experiences, and as I want their approval and validation, I put their opinion above mine in order not to be attacked, I just put down my faith in my experience, in God and in Truth. This is a major issue because I don't stand up for Truth as soon as I got threatened. Jesus addressed this issue for me 2 years ago in my relationship with angry women when I was assistant in the God's Way of Love team. I only start to open to the fullness of the issue, and I see now it is the same with spirits.

I am just blown away to discover the role of spirits keeping feeding my addictions (and me theirs). I have isolated my in my life so that I get very little addictions fed by others these days, but still... I attract spirits who do the job. This is really another issue of faith in truth as well because I don't see spirits or trust my mediumship ability, so getting to know the truth about what is really happening in the invisible realm between me and them would really be a breakthrough for me.

As I was feeling this morning my lack of faith in God, I then felt inspired to start writing and suspected my spirit guide to imprint these thoughts onto me.

Am I on the right track or just fulling myself again?

I feel I still believe my demand for spirits/people not to be angry/attacking at me is valid and loving, and my demand to get approved sexually is OK as well. But they are angry needy demands. I realize I have not wanted to come to the awakening to the sin on these matters and want still to hold on and engage these addictions. After recent feedbacks on the forum, I thought I did it intellectually at least but not fully, neither emotionally yet. I get really exhausted and unhappy about this in my life. I see myself I tend to push myself and punish myself for not breaking through and staying unloving but that just add to the pain. And as a result of the harsh treatment to myself, I am easily harsh with others.

The "death sentence" feeling is about the terror of letting go these addictions (which are what I know as love - my little quick fixes) and get disapproved from family, friends and society beside spirits attacks for...what? I'll have to rely fully on some authority that feels very loving (God) but whose I am still fearing to "bond" with as Maureen stated. If I chose to stop having these addictions fed and to feel my terror of attack and my grief/sadness of feeling unloved, what God's reliance is going to mean? I don't trust it yet in this place. I know I am approaching a more sincere desire to address my addictions as my loa showed me: incredible !mum called me a few nights ago to tell how she thinks of me every day first thought of the day and loves me... and she had not called me or spoken to me for almost 2 years. I guess it is a sign my will is purifying because she feels threatened - and spirits too - to lose the hooks into me. Great news. But this is all very scary. The coming of AG1 and the last mediumship sessions motivate me to make up my will. Thank you Jesus and Mary for that. And also Sonya, Glen, Sarah and Mandy.

I find my discoveries of the day really awesome and amazing in terms of... if this is true, I get now a better sense of what is blocking my relationship with God. This is why I feel to share them here in the hope it might speak and inspire many. God will shows me if I am on the right track but if you have any insight, please feel free to share and correct me.

Pierre

LisaQ
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Re: keeping a doubt about God's existence

Post by LisaQ » Sun Jan 31, 2016 3:09 pm

Hi Pierre and all,

Just a note: I've placed a post under the Addictions Section regarding my response to Pierre, which I feel was done partly in desire to help but also largely in my own addictions. I'm beginning to reflect on & deconstruct these addictions.

Lisa

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