Bashfulness

[Niky]

is that an emotion? of course it is, right...

I have random social moments where I just turn bashful for no apparent reason, most of the time nothing embarrassing has happened. And then I'm panicking because I don't want to be seen blushing. I'm afraid of how they perceive that, like now there is something wrong with what I'm saying or sharing. I stutter and stop making sense.

In one instance, it was because I was talking to 2 people, then they both turned to me giving me their full attention, suddenly, I was turning red. At another time, I was talking to just my cousin, then my mind went blank, then I was embarrassed because I forgot what I was talking about. At other times, it is certain particular people who make me nervous for unknown reasons.

I'm not sure how to process this emotion... what type of emotion is blushing or embarrassment? Is it shame? Fear?

Like if I'm interacting with someone, then all of a sudden I turn red, what do I do? Just shut up and start feeling? A conversation drop off leaves the other person confused and awkward. Then they're not gonna want to talk to me again. I think I will just make a *gasp* and say "oh my god" and runaway to go feel.

I have no problem performing in front of an large audience, giving a prepared speech... so, it's not stage fright. Well it's like stage fright in front of a few.

[Brian Brill]

Bashfulness and shyness are the response of your injured self to the judgments you fear others will make about you. In what you describe, your facade basically breaks down (face/facade turns red) and your injured self retreats because it feels exposed and doesn't want to be judged. This especially happens when you value someone else's opinion of you more than you value yourself.

As for what to do in such a situation, just be honest. Admit you suddenly feel vulnerable and shy. If the person isn't sympathetic to that, they probably aren't worth spending time with anyway.

However, be aware that people will often handle such a situation by feeding your addictions, in this case trying to build you up so that you feel more confident. What they say might actually be true, but if it's not addressing the underlying causes of your fear, it might only serve to get your facade working again, which isn't what you need if you want a long-term fix for this.

- B

[Sage]

Hi Niky,

I've had very similar if not exactly the same experiences as you are describing. For me it was related to two main things: fear of being seen, connected to unworthiness and fear of speaking the truth. The more I have embraced the truth and felt the vulnerability that doing so exposed in me the less I have had these awkward and embarrassing (for me) moments. I agree with Brian that it is the most important to be humble to my feelings at the time. I also wonder when I totally lose my train of thought it is spirit influence, those who are invested in me not speaking the truth and staying in fear.

Just some thoughts,
Sage