How to?

[Alkhemst]

David,
Thank you for that reference to the wave - I totally got that and it feels really precious and perfect to me.
It helps having that sort of analogy.
Cheers
Teresa

Cool glad it made sense

[maureen]

I've been having some luck doing this:

I crawl under the covers at night (in a dark room) and pray to God to help me to remember....everything....from my childhood. I have only a mere handful of memories because I grew in a terrifying home rife with physical, sexual and emotional abuse....so I really built a big wall to keep those experiences "in the past."

Within a few minutes a new memory will come to me...and with it all the terror and trauma and pain...I am back there and feeling it all fully....sobbing in terror and fear...and confusion in the face of my plight.

The next day, I allow time and space to work more with the memories that came up the night before....writing, drawing...longing to connect to the child I once was...and to care (I keep lots of sketch books and journal around me).

It is amazing to see more how my current relationship to life is completely generated from that painful and confusing past the more engage this process...and I see how it will be still until all this is felt and released from my weary soul.

It is exciting to begin to really move through this stuff....and feel it all. Even it is super scary.

The grief just pours forth as I go back there and feel how alone and confused and helpless I was...and how I cried out so much for help....and it never came.

I believe this will heal the huge estrangement from God that was born in those days when I was just a toddler...begging, pleading to be loved....and helped....and God never came.

So, the simple prayer "God, please help me to remember my childhood"...with the lights turned out, under the covers...and just allowing things to come up...and...rapidly the emotions...long lost and locked up...are beginning now to flow.

Oh, and one more thing that helps is as memory comes forth, I just begin to explore the surroundings...the environment I am in there in that place in the past....like what I am wearing, the layout of the room, the crib I am in, the other people in the house...and boy...it really pulls me right there into that place...and I can feel all my emotions from then....cause they just flow forth unrestricted....and I just hold on for dear life

Love,
Moti

[Pam]

I went to a lady who specialists in emotional healing. Her name was Mary Beth. She would invite God's presences in the room and then have you close your eyes and walk you though your memories.

I ended up going back to a memory where I was afraid to go to bed. I was terrified of the dark. My older brother loved to scare me. My mother got anger with me for this and said she would teach me a lesson about not wanting to go to bed.

She carried me down to the basement and sat me on the dryer. There was a sun pump between the dryer and washer and she told me if I got off the dryer I would fall into the sun pump and drown.

She then turn out the lights and lift me there. I was so terrified. I was scared of the dark, afraid I would fall off the dryer into the sun pump and drown and I didn't know what spirits or ghosts, or monsters were in the basement that would get me. I am just speaking my thoughts of what I was thinking as a child. I screamed at the top of my lungs and I don't know how long she left me down there. i must have been pretty small because I was too small to get off the dryer. She did come back and she asked me if I was ready to sleep in my warm safe bed and I told her yes. Anything was better then down in that dark scary basement.

Mary Beth said to me. We sometimes don't know where the Lord is when we are going though a terrifying event in our lives. But she asked me with my eyes still closed. "Pam where is Jesus in this vision?" I saw him standing between the washer and dryer with His arms around me. He was there to protect me and no let me fall off the dryer. I had tears running down my checks when I saw this vision during emotional healing.

I was surprised that day when the Lord take me back to that memory because it wasn't even on my mind when I went there for counseling but it comforted me to know He was with me even when I didn't know He was with me.

I went to Mary Beth a few times and she pretty much prays invites God in the counseling and then walks you though memories asking you where is God at in these memories. I believe I can do this on my own without her help. And this might be something you could do as well. It helped me.

[maureen]

thanks pam...that is really good suggestion...I'm going to give that a try!

[Max]

Hey Alkhemst
I wanted to let you know that I really like your story about the wave. I think it's a great metaphor for processing emotion. It gives me a physical sensation of the experience. I particularly like the part about being held in Gods arms at the end, a beautiful image. Thank you.
Max

[Alkhemst]

Hey Alkhemst
I wanted to let you know that I really like your story about the wave. I think it's a great metaphor for processing emotion. It gives me a physical sensation of the experience. I particularly like the part about being held in Gods arms at the end, a beautiful image. Thank you.
Max

Thanks Im glad it was helpful