Anger/Fear in the moment

[catherinej]

Hello all,
I'm going to just write without editing or carefully constructing my words.
I am currently in a visceral state of fear. It was triggered by the communications with a renter. I have a feeling in my body of a lot of heat around my chest while I'm both receiving the communication with them and while I think how to respond. One question I have is, is it unloving to give responses while in this state? No matter how truth based?
As I'm feeling this, if it keeps coming back with each communication attempt, I can assume I am not feeling it fully? And furthermore can't expect to get to the causal emotion in a day or even in an hour ? ( Or is this something that is relative?)
I'm not processing the grief causing the fear fully because with every new communication, I feel it again.
The fear arises from something to do with being a child and not having a knowledge of truth about unloving or abusive behavior. (I'm still vague on this)
And not knowing truth about the rights that I have, such as the right to disagree, the right to have my own will power, while the other person was very demanding and asserting their sense entitlement.
As the situation was unfolding, I realized that I did not acknowledge the truth in the moment months ago, which would require me to assert myself in a potential confrontation. I'm afraid of confrontation and therefore withhold the truth in doubt of that truth and myself. I suffer the consequences of a) not stating the truth or asking for a clarification of it to keep the 'peace' , b) not loving myself by not stating the truth c) not loving myself and the other by allowing them to behave toward me in an entitled and demanding manner ( what I wasn't being truthful about in the moment and addressing it ) d) all of this attracts an exacerbation of the situation as I'm not in harmony with love and truth from the onset because of my fears.
The situation arose because of my initial failure to assert not only the truth in the moment but a respect / love for myself in the beginning. I was doubting my knowledge of the truth in the matter because of the fear of the other person's reaction.
I'm afraid of reactions from people with a sense of entitlement. I fear they will squash the truths that I have regardless. I'm attracting just that.
I'm even terrified of the responses I'll get here. But I'd rather get to facing these fears since I've had some practice as of late.
What can learn?
What don't I want to learn or look at?

Thank you for your replies