Fear vs Excitement

[Mianoel]

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone had some insights to share about this:

I have been taking action to follow my desires (big house changes to become more sustainable).
I am very excited. In the middle of the night, I wake up with fear/dread about the projects (if things don't go as planned, etc).
I recognise "Ok, I'm following my desires, this is automatically triggering some pretty big fears, this is good, let's not fight it, let's stay in the body, breathe like AJ describes (not forcing a controlled calm breathing). I fill my abdomen, and then even if I still can fit some in there, my chest, and then let it go, and again…). I even get up with hands in the air, and then touch the floor on the out breath many times, as he demonstrates.
5 mins later, my mind is racing with a million new ideas and possibilities about those projects and it's so amazing, and I really want to dig my teeth into action NOW.
In the meantime, my heart is racing, I'm completely amped and still can't relax or sleep.

Am I using excitement to avoid feeling my fear?
If yes, it feels really automatic, any advice or truth that can help me do this differently?

Thanks a million,

Mia

[David R]

Hey Mianoel

Small disclaimer before saying anything, the advice which I offer is as truthful as my current emotional condition will permit. I will try to give you the best possible advice I can drawing from the love which I have

You mentioned some fear/dread in the middle of the night was triggered causing you to wake up. You then went on to say you tried some breathing techniques which AJ described and also getting up hands up in the air stretching again mentioning a demonstration of this. Though there seems to be some blame projected in others directions here I would prefer to focus on you feeling your fear.

In my experience fear can be a pretty sticky thing to allow yourself to feel, you mentioned within 5 minutes your mind was already racing thinking of other things. It sounds as though you didn't genuinely allow or surrender to the feeling of fear. Next time you have a feeling come up and are trying to release it but feel stuck. My humble advice is pray to god for help through it, once your desire is sincere the help will come.

Once your desire to feel the fear and move passed it becomes greater than your fear of fear, you will climb that mountain <3

I wish you the best on your journey

Lots of love!
David