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Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 2:23 am
by LisaQ
Since starting on the Way, I've had an increasing need to cry loudly often. Because of my desire to connect with God on a daily basis, I often find myself bawling loudly several times a day for a 1/2 hour or hour at a time, which is quite inconvenient with housemates who are not on the path, or being surrounded closely by other people.
What's been challenging is finding a private space where I'm far enough away from others, where I can be fully free to let loose and feel.

Have others who live in cities and towns had a challenge with this, or is this just my personal LoA regarding not feeling I deserve to have space in my home to be myself and cry? If others have dealt with this, do you have any pointers? Or have you worked through the emotions that would attract a private space for allowing loud emotions out?

Any feedback would be welcome.


Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 5:39 pm
by Perry
Hi Lisa,

I reckon there can be a number of reasons why one wouldn't have their own space to process emotions, and I do not know the reason for you specifically. I personally share my house too. (with Nicky, who created this forum) So I'm sure if Nicky was to hear me 'letting lose' with my emotions it would be cool. However I do tend to still feel embarrassed about letting others hear me express my emotions. Since we are only two living in the flat, we tend to process when the other is out. However, if I'm in my room processing and I can feel some deep grief coming, I just let it out, for the chance may not come again. Or, even though I live in London, I often go to the woods which are not too far from my house to feel my emotions away from others. I have also let my tears out in public, or in front of friends and family, so I am not too shy to do that, but when I do express my grief in front of others, there is that little voice sometimes which creeps in and says 'oh what I must look like'.

So I'm not sure that we all need our own private space to express our grief, maybe its a case that we need to feel OK expressing our grief in front of others? and of course, we will have emotional reasons as to why we are not cool with that. Shame, embarrassment... the need to look like we have got our lives all together? And vice versa, maybe in the ideal world, others would not be disturbed by hearing our grief, and thus it would not be a problem.

I would however, like to create a space where I can live and fully express myself however I want, when I want, without disturbing others. And the reason why I have not created that yet is seemingly because of a lack of money! And that in itself has a whole bunch of emotions connected to it.

Not sure if that was helpful for you, but that's what its like for me at the moment.


Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 7:21 pm
by Darragh
Hi guys. I remember looking for the same thing before. Here was my take on my actions. I was looking to clear out a room and have it a nice place to do my emotional work. It is now our chill out room. so not as it was intended. That got me thinking about what i was looking for. I realised i was looking for a comfort zone to release the emotion or realign the trapped energy, or however it may feel for you. Observing my action, i decided to take a different approach. my current thinking or consciousness used to hinder emotional releasing. I thought to look at what i'm doing when emotions begin to surface. I observed that i was hiding away, eating more, going to bed early, curling up, slouching, avoiding people etc. But that resistance was not helping me at all. It seamed that i could not create a physical place to release an emotional (i won't say problem) build up. I thought that I need an emotional space to spread the emotional build up and at the same time get my mind to take a break. the trick is to avoid actions that demand a sense of familiarity, sense purpose and maybe a problem solving attitude that would have us frantically looking to recreate the perfect comfort zone (nostalgic effect).

So what kind of actions can create this? do in something you've never done before, which are things kids automatically do because they can. I can suggest a couple of things that i did. you might need to invent your own because knowing i've already done these and doing same is the mind looking for the easy way out. does that make sense? one might be, making a jigsaw or several hundred piece puzzle with the picture facing down whilst humming a tune as random as possible, or speaking gibberish to yourself, etc. Jesus speaks of how kids release their emotions but a lot of the time they are asked to stop behaving badly. I feel the majority of us have gone through this. Go through this emotion of not being allowed. release the action rather than the subordinate of that action.

so that how i can best describe it. for me the first resistence to my broken emotion or misdirected energy, is my conscious mind or fragmented resultant mind, so that's where i look to change first.


Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 9:28 pm
by Courtney
Just thought I'd share a great Jesus quote on this topic. I had written it down and not sure what seminar it came from:

"A child by nature just automatically feels everything. When they are angry they yell and when they are sad they cry. They don’t go 'Am I allowed to cry? This is now the supermarket, mommy won’t like it me crying there. So no I won’t cry there, I will cry when I get home.' You don’t see any child doing that.

The child doesn’t think through the process; it just has an emotion and the emotion is whatever the emotion is--sadness in this case that I am illustrating--it cries. And if it is in the supermarket, too bad, it is crying anyway."

Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 11:36 pm
by Teresa French
Hello Lisa
When I read your post the first thing that struck me was why do you feel the need to cry "loudly"?
When I went to the assistance group in 2014 I had undertaken to collect someone from the railway station, but it meant I had to drop the people off whom I already had in the car first. Due to my own addiction for approval I ended up arriving late to pick up that person and when we finally got to the group she told Jesus, who happened to duck in while she was registering for her room how she "processed" her emotion triggered by me not collecting her straight away and the other people at the station were quite concerned for her and wanted to help her. As she was being very loud around them.
Jesus' comment was to point out the demand for attention and to share in her emotion around that, and I have reflected on how forcing other people to share in our emotions against their free will is unloving. I noticed how Jesus never does that - he has said he goes off to be somewhere private so he can release his emotions without inflicting them on others.
There is an addiction to wanting to be noticed or rescued in attracting attention to ourselves. If your desire to truly release your emotion was pure you would be given the opportunity to do so in the perfect private setting. Not having the opportunity shows you that in your soul you don't really want to.
I have learned that as soon as I have the desire that is true and pure, God gives me the opportunity perfectly, more perfectly than I could have anticipated.

Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2016 11:51 pm
by Elvira
at the 2104 AG I heard Jesus give the example that if emotions came up during say a dinner discussion the loving thing would be to remove yourself so that you don't disrupt the conversation continuing for other people.

The feeling I have been getting putting a lot of little comments together is that the loving thing is to not impact other people with processing. My approach is to deal with any loud anger when no one else is home, I think it is possible to put yourself back into a situation in your imagination to bring up anger. If you are feeling angry at someone you would need to remove yourself and if there is nowhere to make a lot of noise I find that muttering to myself about why I am angry can bring up the addiction/fear/sadness (when I am willing to go there that is, if I am not no amount of yelling/bashing makes any difference). I think maybe childhood anger gets expressed loudly, while loud ongoing expression of adult rage can be spirit influence or living in it a bit.

I find fear and sadness can be dealt with by crying into a pillow or burying myself in a wardrobe, the clothes muffle the sound. I think other people in the house might hear it but it would just be a quiet background noise. Again I often put myself back into a scenario in my imagination, and write to God about it, to bring an emotion I didn't deal with at the time back up. To me it always depends on a lot of circumstances, no situation is exactly the same.

All my best Elvira

Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2016 11:43 am
by Perry
I don't feel that crying out loudly automatically means that one is looking for attention. I think its dangerous to assume anything about another when we are not in a condition to know the Soul based injuries at play. Its tricky to use other peoples examples as we all different, and specific LOA would be at play at that specific time. Depending what emotion I have been feeling, sometimes I express my grief really loudly, so much so I have surprised myself, albeit I have been alone when that has happened. For sure, I guess there are those who cry loudly for attention, but then I'm sure there are times when crying loud just needs to be loud. I think one would need to reflect and be honest with themselves as to why they are crying in front of others ect.

Nicky and I asked Jesus what should we do if we want to start crying whilst presenting our YouTube videos, and he said (not exact words)' just let it out there and then on camera'. He did then say maybe we would want to edit the video if the crying went on for long time (because it would not very interesting for the viewer to watch us cry for half an hour). However, I think what Jesus was eluding to was that its ok to show our emotions to others. Again, I think this is case specific and it also massively depends on the intentions.

I have been in conversations before, and mid conversation I have felt the grief started rise, I didn't run off to find space away from others, I just felt the grief there and then. A lot like when we watch Jesus talk to spirits, they often quickly start crying sincerely in front of Jesus, and Jesus just allows them to cry and waits patiently. Again, I guess this is case specific.

I just felt to add that note

Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2016 4:07 pm
by LisaQ
As my journey with God has continued, I have found that the depth of the pain that needs releasing is such that I cry/bawl/sob, sometimes with great noise and force. I remember Jesus saying that each time we receive more of God's love, it expands our soul. So, each time we are open to receiving more love, the emotions that we feel will get stronger/more intense. It's about allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed emotionally, which means being 'out of control' and possibly crying loudly/vomiting/etc. Here's the talk, at the 39 minutes in mark: That's been my personal experience. I desire to connect with God more and more because it's unlike any love I've ever experienced, but it means being willing to go deeper into some of the most intense pain I've ever had to experience.

This issue for me has been a deep fear of crying in front of others, especially if it is a woman who is in a position of 'authority'. Interestingly, I have just landed in a home where I've had to face these exact fears. I was very upfront with my landlady about the fact that I was looking for a space where I could do my emotional work and that it could get quite loud. I've checked in with her after a month, and she mentioned that it wasn't a problem for her, even though she could hear it at times in the distance when she was working on her farm about 100-200 feet away. I always close the windows when I process and muffle my cry when I feel the need to: ie, usually when my own fear of being heard is strong. I also have land mates who occasionally walk by a path right near where I do my crying and they've heard me at times. I've let them all know ahead of time that they may hear crying and that it was nothing to worry about, and please let me know if it's a problem. I've checked in with them again after several weeks and they said it wasn't a problem.

I think for me I haven't attracted a full space where I'm able to completely LET GO because of these deep blocking emotions that shut me down emotionally with mom as a kid. God put me in the exact situation I needed to trigger this terror and fear of crying in front of a woman. =) God is good.

And, also, as Perry mentioned, money & worth issues have so far prevented me from buying/affording my own home, where I will have complete freedom to be myself. These are issues I'm working my way through.

Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2016 6:11 pm
by Perry
As the LOA would have it, I literally came across this after posting... Jesus responds to participants asking about 'making noise whilst processing' around others. Defo sheds some light on the collective answers shared in this thread.

The Q&A for this particular question starts around 15mins into the discussion

Re: Finding Space to Release Emotions

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2016 3:26 pm
by Maxine
Thank you everyone.. all that is really helpful, but Perry especially that clip you suggested. I have a similar issue about making a noise/ expressing emotion for similar reasons so that is very helpful. I can feel how there are many events in my childhood I don't want to go back too currently, and I wasn't even acknowledging that until I saw this clip so much gratitude. I thought I was remembering lots of not so good stuff, but can now see I have a huge wall of fear/ blanks about many events and so a lot of my energy must go into avoidance and living in my fear and explains some things I have been feeling today. So my guides drew me to the right help - again :)

Thanks guys